First of all, tell me that isn't amazing! Amanda made those for best friend necklaces, it's her, Julie, and me if you couldn't tell :)! My best friend has talent, and I'm going to brag for her because she's much too polite to do it herself. They came down to my college to go shopping and visit me today, it was totally unexpected and totally made my day.
This weekend has been rather uncharacteristic of most college weekends. I don't know if it's because I'm over the inital excitement of the college scene, if it's the frigid, miserable weather, or if I'm just changing my interests, but I had about zero desire to go out partying this weekend. It's not like it was my main focus last semester either, but if I was down here, I usually went out atleast one night out of the weekend. It's kind of worked out that my friends here are broke, and now my roommate's getting sick, so there hasn't been much pressure to go, and that's kind of relieving. One of my really good friends here wanted me to come out, and part of me wanted to so I could be with her, but everything else about it is unappealing. The cold. Waiting for the buses/taxi cabs. The money spending. Did I mention the cold? Last night Paige and I sat in our room on our separate beds watching Everybody Loves Raymond. I felt like a 50 year old married couple, and I enjoyed it. It feels nice to be able to just relax, just chill for once. Normally I feel like I'm running around doing fifty-million things, making plans, going places, but now I have the luxury of just being, and I like it. I do love exploring the town though, and going out can be loads of fun, but I'm going to choose my nights wisely. The last thing I want is to feel overwhelmed. This semester is about me getting my shit together. I want to come out of it having a greater understanding of myself and what I want to do with my life. I want to know how to manage my time, and learn to accept the idea of missing out on things. That has always been a problem for me, I want to be a part of everything that's going on with my friends, or sounds appealing. In the words of Aerosmith "I don't wanna miss a thing." That's been one of the hardest things about going away for school, seeing the photos and hearing the stories that I wasn't there for firsthand. It's an important thing to go through though---you can't always be there for everything, and when you aren't, you have to learn to be happy for people's happiness in your absence. I do love it when you get surprises though, it was so nice to roll out of bed around 11:00 and receive a text from Amanda asking if I was free today :). I wasn't expecting to see any of my friends from home until next weekend, which I hope to come home for.
It just feels good to have everything under control. I have time to do my course assignments, there's oatmeal in the room so I no longer have to starve after the dining hall closes since I'm basically nocturnal...I hopefully will be getting a job, if I apply for TAP I should be getting money back so going to college won't cost both my arm and my leg. I'm still uncertain about what I want to do college-wise after this semester.. if I want to continue here, or possibly transfer, it's all up in the air. I like this school, but I don't know that it's specific enough for me. In theory, what I'd like is to determine the path I want to go down, and then be in a place where it caters to that field. Going into college I just picked journalism, thinking my love for writing and my interest with publications, especially National Geographic, was enough. News was never my thing and neither was broadcast, and that seems to be the majority of the exposure to journalism here---and since that isn't the part I wanted to be a part of, it makes it difficult to figure out if it's the right field for me. I'm still glad to be getting the foundation in it, and there's a lot of things I'm learning that will help me, but I still wish I was getting a better idea of what it would be like to do things beyond that---like photojournalism or working with magazines.. I feel like it's going to take me forever to get to that point here, if I ever do.. There's another part of me that's curious about where my life might lead if I took the psychology path. I've always had an interest in that, and I genuinely like being able to help people with their problems. But everyone wants to be a psychologist these days. I don't know, I don't know. I'll probably take a path with writing, but nothing is for certain, and there are a lot of things I need to hash out in my mind with reason. I just want to wind up doing something I love.
This was a thoroughly boring post aside from Amanda's artwork, I always wind up using Blogger or whatever medium I'm writing in as a place to vent. I'd like to make it be something more than that, something more interesting than that. I want to have better things to share with people.