LAST DAY OF MARCH

wasteful post :)

Tuesdays are generally bad, or mediocre at best. But the worst part of my day went like so...

Monday night was wonderful. Tom and I worked, and then we made a really delicious omlette together. It included green peppers, onions, brocoli, cheddar cheese, and little cheese filled kehbasa sausages. The next morning I packed a ziploc bowl of it for my lunch today. Sixth period rolls around, and I head down to the music room (the teachers there love me) and I warmed it up in their microwave. Then I head to the lunchroom condiment table. I reach for the pepper shaker, and my little bowl of omlette slides off of the books I'm holding, because I clumsily tilted them, and splatters all over the floor.

>:[Soooooo not cool. Moral of the story is.. don't be akwardly clumsy like so.

tomorrow's april!

Which means Spring Break is only two measley weeks away! I, of course, don't have any big plans. The most exciting thing I MIGHTTTT do, is visit Syracuse University. I'm interested in the Arts & Sciences college there. The area seems nice, and I don't know. I'm just drawn to it, so I might as well check it out, right? :). That trip would include stopping at the Carousel Mall, which I adore! Such a magnificent shopping center. Six floors of AWESOME :P.

Now that our research papers are at a standstill(she's grading our rough drafts), we're doing a poetry section. We watched a movie on Edgar Allen Poe. I found him pretty interesting, despite how strange/gross it is that he was in love with his first cousin, who was quite younger than himself. His story was pretty tragic, especially with all of the people he lost to teburculosis. His poems and stories from what I've heard of and read are quite grotesque and eerie. I find that kind of stuff to be .... cool :)

I've noticed myself wanting to sleep alot lately. Actually, it's probably the normal amount of sleep consumption, but I'm used to being able to run on seven hours or less, but lately I just want to sleep all morning. Alas, I can't. I have school. But I still find my new craving for the zZz's to be a bit random. I have such a desire to go out and take interesting, fresh pictures for myself and to put on my blog. I felt like I needed to add Mr.Poe above to jazz up the boring text. Hopefully I'll get the ambition and this blog will be dull no more :D.

♥ Olive

life story

I was tagged by Wandering Child :)

it all began..
When I was born one day after my mother's 40th birthday. Yes, I am fourty years younger than my parents, and an only child. Honestly, sometimes I wish I had a sibling or two, someone of blood to relate to. I have sufficed sixteen years without one though. Growing up I was sort of lonely. I had a best friend, Lindsey, for awhile. But as we grew older and went off to school she found new friends. I befriended a tomboy, Lesa, for awhile too. We had some crazy times. Zack and I started spending quite a bit of time together, playing games of make-believe outdoors, gathering a bundle of laughable memories. I still remember the first day he came over because I invited him to play in my sprinkler. Later in the day we decided to take an adventure into the field(oh yeah, I live on a dairy farm) He wore this replica Civil-War uniform. I got stuck in the mud and he had to run back up to the house to get my dad to rescue me :P. As I grew older though, I started being more withdrawn and to myself, befriended someone who was a horrible friend to me and scared away any potential "good friends" at the time. I was a bit fat and unattractive in my opinion for most of elementary, stretching into junior high. I acted moody towards my parents out of frustration with how my life was going, I guess. I still regret how I used to act to this day. I used to argue with my mom constantly. I used to take piano lessons since first grade, but I quit in sixth grade and I wish I hadn't. Now I want to play again. I used to be very into horses, too. A phase generated by girls in school who were really into them. I took riding lessons and got an old horse. It turned out to be a waste of time. As I grew up, in junior high I made friends with a better crowd, twins Tom and Julie, Shayla, and Amanda. All of whom I constantly blog about :).

Being friends with them made me extrordinarly happy and we had great times with eachother. In time I started to improve myself, eating a better diet( I grew up on fast food and oreos, basically), exercising, and starting taking control of who I wanted to be. I became a happier, healthier person. From the start of highschool I fell in love with my closest guy friend, Tom. As hard as I tried, there seemed to be nothing I could do to stop feeling the way I did towards him, even though he claimed to not feel the same. In him I just found someone so smart and original, who could always make me laugh. We grew closer and closer as we grew up, and eventually he admitted his feelings for me, and we dated for nine+ happy months ♥. Something changed, however, and he broke up with me. We remained close friends, almost the same as always ever since. We're a complicated pair. Nowdays, I spend most of my free time with Amanda and Julie. Jenna and John accompany us too quite a bit. And I spend nearly every day afterschool with Tom doing his job, taking care of the cows on my farm. I'm still working on the person I want to become, but every day feels a little closer.

So I consider that a summary, I could've gone into more detail, or discussed different aspects, but there you have it :P. Sunday, which is today, has passed by relatively uneventful. Once I showered, I put my scooby-doo boxers and a camisole back on, and began slaving at my research paper. I'm steadily making progress.
The topic I chose was religious controversey, aimed at Christianity. In a nutshell the point I'm trying to convey is that faith can be perfectly fine, but once it's linked with discimination and closed mindedness, problems arise. So I'm targetting the Fundamentists, really. Not your everyday, innocent believer.

I want to re-vamp my wardrobe so badly. I just want to scrounge through thrift stores and vintage shops for beautiful, unique items. I'm growing sick of the clothes I have, but I'll have to make do. The area I live in doesn't offer many places of my preference. I'd love to live in a large city, such as Chicago, and have shopping experiences be more than hitting up the local mall that has the same things as always, all of the time. Where are some of your favorite shopping destinations/stores? :)

So there's this thing around here called the "Dairy Princess" and basically different girls with agricultural backgrounds are nomiated to compete for the title. The winner becomes a spokesperson for the industry, really. Attending meetings and making appearances. I was nominated. It seems pretty cool, but I'm hesitant as to whether or not I'm going to go for it. Public speaking gets me iffy.. But I'm not sure if I should take the chance to get the practice, or avoid the struggle. Thoughts?

♥ Olive

just a little update.

weekend!
As I mentioned before, Friday was a halfday. I was wicked anxious all day, I don't know what my problem was :P. Once school let out at 11:00, Tom and I made a quick stop at my house, then went tux shopping. We mainly just browsed magazines though, you don't really try tuxes on I guess :P. He chose black pants/jacket with a purple vest and tie. I'm pretty excited for prom :), I think we'll have fun.
sprinkles :)
Once I brought Tom home I hung out at their house with Julie, Jenna, and John. I got to play with Julie's new dwarf hamster, Burgle :). She's so cutttee. I want one really bad now. They're just to die for. I can't get over the adorableness they radiate. Once it got to be time to go, we drove into town and picked up Amanda and Dan. Not all of us could fit, so Amanda, Julie, and I went in our music teacher's car. Or space shuttle, as we called it. Seriously, I believe that thing was technologically advanced enough to fly :P. The game plan was to go with her and meet up with some other teachers, including old Mr. Fisher who recently had to be admitted into a nursing home, for icecream. He's like, our school mascot, haha. He taught back in the 60's. Probably earlier actually, yes, way earlier. So he's been here forever even since he retired atleast a decade ago. So we saw his new living quarters and walked to the icecream shoppe. I ate a nestlee cookie swirl, delishhh :). We sat at picnic tables and chilled for awhile until we were dropped off at the mall. We walked around there, which was slightly boring so I won't elaborate, then I ran into Jess. She wanted to go to a get together at Tom's house, so she agreed to drive me back there with her so there would be adequate room in Jenna's car. Nice deal.
I slept over at Julie's for the night and the next day we ventured out to the better mall. The mall with Forever 21 :P. I didn't get much stuff, just a grey cardigan sweater and a teal camisole. We wanted to get out of the house though. We drove around to a couple different places, mainly petshops :P, and went home. So now I'm writing up my rough draft of my research paper, being why my blogging is such poor quality.

so this is just a filler/update post. i'll write something better tomorrow maybe :).
♥ Olive

quickie

"So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone. And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow. But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself. It is best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or a simple song of hope. That is why I'm singing... Baby don't worry cause now I got your back. And every time you feel like crying, I'm gonna try and make you laugh. And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad, then we will wait for it to pass and I will keep you company through those days so long and black. And we'll just keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve of Love's uneven remainder, our lives are fractions of a whole. But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall. Then I think we would see the beauty then. We would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges, like a story told by the fault lines and the soil." - Bowl of Oranges, Bright Eyes
Mmm. Conor Oberst, haha. :)

it's wednesday.
And I'm disappointed because I kept thinking throughout the day that it was actually Thursday >:/. Friday will be a half day though, so I'm a little excited for that. I think I'm taking Tom out to go tux shopping, haha. Maybe pictures will be taken of that adventure.. :P. I spent today just chillen', I took a break from doing chores. It was nice to just sit around and work at a slower pace. I have most of my homework all done. I even got off of my lazy butt and went on the treadmill! I just hope tomorrow flies by and the weekend is just moments away. It's nearly 10:30 and I feel like retiring off to bed, so this post is going to have to end. Sorry :/, haha. I'll write better this weekend hopefully.


Ohoh! I'm starting a new book. No, I'm not done with "The Little Book". Turns out, it's not so little. But this book is smaller and from the library, so I'll be reading it in my spare time. It's supposed to be about how people think :). Que interestante!

goodnight! ♥

Come into my world

I've got to show, show, show you.

This week hasn't been too hectic. Yesterday after school I tagged along to the library with Jenna, Julie, and John. I picked up a basic cooking book(haha, yes. I'm pathetic) and a visual french/english dictionary. Spanish has been my "second" language throughout highschool, but I want to learn more. I don't feel like I know spanish as well as I should.. but whatever. I can get myself into gear, and learn a little french as well. I want to be fluent in multiple languages. That would be useful while I travel the world endlessly.

Tonight was nice.
Chores were actually kind of fun, because Tom and I were goofing off half of the time, more so than usual, so I was distracted from the fact that I was taking care of big, smelly cows. Not that I dislike animals, I don't. But trust me, if you spent as much time feeding and cleaning them as I do, you would not find them so as appealing :P. After that we went to PriceChopper so I could buy some ingredients for the week. Tom's going to show me how to make a phenomonal omlette. So we cruised up and down the aisles snatching the items from my list, and proceeded to check out. I don't opt for fast food often, but we were both quite famished, so we chose to drive through TacoBell. The rare crunch wrap surpreme won't kill me. The drive home was pretty nice, we talked about alot of things, life-wise. I really enjoy talking with him. He has so much more brilliance than anyone gives him credit for. Everyone knows he's hilarious, but I'm glad I get to know both sides. I just find it so comforting to have someone I can be so, myself, around. I feel like through everything, we're always going to be the closest of friends.

I'm lusting after summer.
I cannot wait. I want the world to be carpetted in a lush green. The cold is becoming a pain. I want to drive around, windows down, blasting Modest Mouse. The beach is a definite destination for the season, despite the four+ hour drive. It'll so be worth it. I can't wait to fill my day with the things I want to do, not the obligations and assignments contained in the school year. Reading books atop a grassy hill, swimming in the moonlight. Summer is three short months away, but those months cannot seem to drag on any slower. Hmmph >:/.

i want to go somewhere picturesque.

Meandering around Europe, skipping down cobblestone streets. Waking up to see light refracting off of the Eifel tower, and taking a stroll across the Tower Bridge. I want to ask Big Ben the time and ride a gondola just for kicks. That, is where I'd rather be.
Oh no, instead I'm in rural New York on a blustering windy day. I just need to hang in there until I can acquire a passport and cash, and ditch this place :). I wouldn't even mind just getting out of here and going somewhere interesting within the country. New York City would be delightful, but that isn't going to happen. I was born into a family of farmers, who are basically terrified of cities and refuse to go. So currently I'm sheltered, but I can't wait to graduate and shake things up. Chicago would be great. After taking a walk in the wind today though, I'm unsure about residing in the "windy" city. I'm not really a fan.

his girl friday[The Academy Is.. song]
As usual, Friday was nice. I'm not usually one to complain about the last day in the week :). I contemplated skipping because Amanda was going to, but I decided against it. I'd rather not fall behind, and school isn't so bad on Fridays. I made the right choice too, because we did alot in classes and I stayed after for review before my Chemistry test on Monday. After school was SAT prep class. Then I was going to drive Zack home, but when I told him I was going out to the library & places, he asked to tag along. We had a good time :). Listening to crazy hardcore screamo music we like, driving around. I had some things to get at Target, then we looked around the library, and decided we were hungry. We ate at this place, Dirty John's, hahaha, because he told me it had the best and the cheapest hotdogs. I wasn't about to turn down an opportunity to go to a place with a name like that :P, hahah. So we devoured hot dogs and fries in my car, and I drove him home.
After that whole adventure I went home to chill for awhile, then headed back to the school for the Staff Talent Show. Our music teacher convinced us to go, haha. I sat with Amanda, Julie, and Jenna obviously. It was a pretty alright time, watching teachers sing and such. When it was over though, a teacher we knew was mad at us because she thought we were disrespectful. That kind of took me aback. I knew we talked a little amongst ourselves, but I didn't think we were out of control, or noticebly obnoxious. The art teacher was even sitting behind us, and she never said a word to us about our noise level. Oh well :/. I had fun.. haha. The only times I recall us being loud was when cheering/applauding when people finished. I feel bad that I made the teacher mad, but I wasn't wanting to sit in complete silence on a Friday night with my friends.

The next morning I went to the town library, not the cool one I usually go to :P. This one is only open a couple hours, every few days. I'd defitely go more if it was open and had a larger selection. But anyways, back on topic. Zack and I went there to read to little kids for National Honor Society. It was actually kinda fun :), haha. We got to sit in these big wooden chairs with like 15 kids sitting on the floor in front of us, and their parents in their own chairs around the room. We read them little books about the weather and seasons, haha. I read Dr.Seusse and Sesame Street books, along with these 15 page, 1 sentence/page books. I like how enthused the kids got over it, it was cute. Kids are fun :). We helped them plant flowers in a cup too.

:) saturday night.
First we drove out and bought Chinese takeout (mmmm) for our night of chillaxing, with Julie, Jenna, and Amanda. Tom and I split General Tso, shrimp lo mein, and I got a schrimp eggroll... delicious! Hahah. I like to indulge myself in greasy, American made Chinese food on occasion.

The four of us spent most of the night up in the attic making silly videos. We made this band awhile back, The Fat Betches, haha, and we basically just mess around. I'd post the videos if I had a more suitable computer :/. They're mildly amusing though, we have a good time. I won't try to explain the videos or that we sang, that'd be pointless, but we pretty much has a good time. Then we tried watching this movie, La Mustache, but we got sleepy. It was a strange film I can tell you that much.

sunday morning, rain is pouring.
Steal some covers, share some skin.
I left Julie's around 11:00 so I could get a grasp on the homework I need to get done. I finished most of a lab write-up, I'm working on the second one, and I'm making headway in my book report. I hope I can get everything under control by tonight. I feel like I've been maintaining pretty nice grades lately, and I've been more organized. I'd hate to lose that grip all over again.

Eeks.

i'm so happy tomorrow's friday.
Seriously folks, the workload's getting a bit annoying.
Right now I'm working on notecards for my research paper, I just finished a chemistry packet, and I need to read in my book for my book report soon. That's just the work I brought home. I think I may have lost or misplaced my last chemistry lab, ut oh. Needless to say, I'm just ready for it to be a weekend :) :).

This warmer weather's got me all antsy too! I'm craving to do a little springtime shopping, get some cute things. I need to conserve my money though. Alot of you had halfdays and such this week. I was not so fortunate :P. I did participate in a leadership fieldtrip at the community college if that counts. We attended three different workshops with a bunch of kids from different schools. I was placed in Marketing You, which basically told you how to apply for jobs, and gave information on creating a portfolio. All in all, it was pretty helpful. Money Talks was less appealing. The pamplets should be useful, but it was annoying to sit through. Finally I did I Can Speak, about public speaking, obviously :P. That one was a little nerve-wracking. The enviorment was friendly, and I got to talking to this one girl who I was sitting near. We had to interview eachother, and then had the option of making a little speach based on the questions we asked. I decided to take a stab at it. I did it, but I know I read through it fast, and came off as uncomfortable. I need to work on that whole thing.
Okay, this may seem like a rediculous question---but do you guys have comfy chairs at your school?! The chairs at the college were plastic and actually padded. Ours are smooth/hard plastic that I constantly fidget on because they're uncomfortable. It's not a big deal, I was just curious if it's just the poorer schools around here, haha.
This week has definitely been an improvement mental-wise. Last week I was just about ready to crack. I think the weekend made a big difference though, I need my relaxation time.

♥ Olive

My Sincerest Apologies

CRAPOLA.
My blogging habits have been just awful lately, I'm so sorry. I have been keeping up to date mostly with everyone's blogs, but I've failed at maintaining the writing of my own, whoops :P. I guess I've just been a little overwhelmed these days, and too busy to update.

The last week of school was kinda awful, I don't know. I just felt wicked uncomfortable, almost panicky, for no particular reason. I think that every once in awhile when enough stress accumulates, I get mild anxiety. I don't feel like it's serious enough to do anything about, but it happens from time to time. That's just life. I made it through the week though, and took the weekend to relax and cool off. I'm fine now, so far. I just can't let things build up the way I usually allow them to, or else I'm going to wind up bending backwards too far and breaking. This week should be lowkey though, today was fine, tomorrow should be good, and Wednesday I have a field trip :D. It has all of these workshops that you could sign up for, and I chose one about colleges, meditation/de-stressing, and a few others. I'll let you all know how they turn out. So tell me, just in case my methods fail, how do you guys handle stress?

brains&brawns;
At my school, we have this annual contest called the Brains and Brawns. It's where all of the classes(7th-12th) compete in both an intelligence part and an athletics part. Six team members are chosen for each of the two contests, 3 boys and 3 girls to represent each grade. I've been a "brain" for the past three years :P. Even though I've done this multiple times, I always always get nervous beforehand. Stages creep me out, I'm not a fan of being watched by a crowd. I wish I could overcome that. However, I managed to get on stage like before and sit behind table, attempting to answer questions in a quizbowl format. I was subbed until the second round though, which is the 'group answer' one. So I didn't answer any questions individually. The whole event is pretty fun, especially watching the goofy things the "brawns" have to do, like these silly obstacle courses in the gymnasium. So yeah, it was a pretty fun time. I forgot to mention, the whole day is pretty competitive :P. Like I arrived at school at 7:15 to put up BLUE decorations (each class is assigned a color), so I blew up blue balloons, hung streamers, and made signs with a couple other classmates :D. Pretty cool, haha. One year a senior actually painted his car YELLOW because that's the color they have. It's friendly though.

That's a classmate of mine, Amandakay, and myself :P. We're all decked out.

Extra, Extra
So I did manage to have a bit of fun this weekend alongside my chillaxing. We dyed Julie's hair bright blue and purple. It looks pretty sick I must say. I'll post pictures eventually, maybe. She's the "badass" of our little group, with her attitude and leather jacket :). Then on Saturday night we (Jenna,Julie,Amanda,myself) actually went to see a play. "Anything Goes" which was performed by a local school. Our music teacher, whom we like to visit in our spare time, invited us to check it out. It was pretty interesting, I like theatrical performances. I admire the people who can actually get up there and do them, I can't :/. Well, maybe I could. It would just take alot of work because of my insane stagefright, hahah. Maybe I'll try to overcome that soon. I'd love to be a part of a play. The actors and actresses did a really awesome job for being highschoolers, I was impressed.

After that was done and over with we went to Walmart, and to the bowling alley to watch Jeff and his brother's band perform. I think his little brother got sick, so they didn't play for too long. I was getting tired and sickly feeling anyways, with my eyes watering and my nose leaking. So I was ready to head back :P. Sunday was my main relaxation day. I took a long walk in the pleasant spring weather :), and sat around alot. I don't allow myself enough time to just veg out lately. I need to let myself chill more. I'll skip a few days of school if I have to, but I can't just overload myself with work.

Well, I hope you're all doing wonderfully, I'll try my best to stay up to date with everyone :).

♥ Olive

PS) This morning when I tried to sign on, I posted this last night, there was some message about my blog being "locked". So uhh, I don't know, haha. I was still able to edit this post, so I don't know if it's actually going to do anything, but maybe I can't make new posts until it gets 'reviewed' to make sure my site isn't a robot.. Weird. I swear I'm human :P. So if I can't post for awhile, that's why.

it's just about..

springtime?!?
It's been pretty goshdarn warm out, I'm diggin' it :) .
Tonight I actually drove home from Julie's with the window down.
Weekends fly by much too quickly. I cannot believe it's already Sunday night :/.
I've been super busy, so buckle your seatbelts and prepare for an update!
3.7]
Yesterday was quite an adventure.
At some point in the early afternoon, probably 1:00ish, I headed out to bring Jenna, Amanda, and Julie with me to look at prom dresses. I had to drive the highway and navigate in places I wasn't used to, so having a couple of people with me was helpful. I found the dress at the first boutique we went to. It was the second one I tried on, but I just really liked it. It has this vintagey look to it, and I'm a fan of purple. We goofed around a little, then headed to the next destination. We didn't find any dresses at the next place, but we still ventured around the shopping center, looking in stores and amusing ourselves. We love escalators. Places close to where we live lack these cool pieces of technology, so we rode the escalators multiple times, just because we could :). The last shopping place we went had THREE levels of escalators.. AWESOME! :D.


3.8]
Julie spent the night yesterday, and decided to come along with me back to the boutique to order the dress. I put it on hold yesterday because I was hesitant, but I didn't find anything better, so I'm getting it. It's a little big though, Julie had to tie the laces in the back of it as tight as they would go. So the lady who worked there took my measurements and ordered me a smaller size. I can't wait until it comes :). It's expensive and I'm ashamed of that-- but I don't have time to look for something cheaper, that compares to it. I'm good on money right now, so I suppose I might as well go for it :). Other girls at my school paid just as much or more for their dresses, and my parents said they would assist me.. so hey :). Sounds good. What do you guys think of it though?!




destination unknown.
I hate getting lost. Hate, hate, hate it. I don't mind exploring, but there is a distinct difference. When you're lost, you don't even know how to get to a place you recognize. Exploring to me is just wandering off the beaten path. Tonight, Amanda and Julie wanted to go to this campsite Julie's family used to go to. I've of course, never been there, but Julie said she would direct me. We travelled atleast a half an hour until we came to the road it was supposed to be on, but then we went on that road for what felt like forever, without stumbling across the place she recongized. She told me to take this one direction once we got to the end of that road, because it went south, which is where we came from. Then we went on and on and on travelling that road, and after awhile I realized, "hey, i'm lost". I didn't recognize anything, but I knew we were far from home. I had to continue to drive though, until we could find civilization. I got frustrated when we began arguing though. Amanda was yelling at me to turn around and go back where we came from, and Julie was telling me to keep going the way I was headed. I ended up continuing on, because it would take FOREVER to backtrack that entire way, and Julie made the point that we were heading south on that road, and south was the direction we needed to be going anyways. Eventually I found a roadsign pointing to a town I live near, but it didn't bring me to that place. It did lead to civilization though, where I stopped at Subway and asked a woman for directions. After that, we navigated home with success :).

I love driving & my friends, and I can't wait for road trips.. But I need to improve at driving under stress. I almost broke down, especially when there was yelling, but I can't let that bother me, or I'm going to wind up even more lost, or worse, in a ditch, hahah. I'm happy with myself for driving so much this weekend though, especially on the highway. I'm getting experience, that's what counts.

TGIF, BABY

today was nice.
I'm not sure if it was the switch of weather, or just the fact that it's Friday. School was a bit annoying, only because that's mandatory, and Amanda and Julie skipped without me >:/. I'm not actually mad, haha, but school is worse without them. I made it through though, it wasn't so bad. Jenna was there atleast! She's not in any of my classes, but we ate lunch together in the music room :).

afterschoooool, was cool.
Jenna drove Amanda and me around town so we could look at dresses and get coffee at this place we like alot. Actually, I never get coffee, neither does Amanda. We're avid butterscotch chai drinkers, but Jenna enjoys her mocha. The thrift store wasn't opened so we went straight to the bridal shoppe. It's expensive there, but I found a dress that's pretty nice.




I dig the dress, but not the pricetag. $370 :(:(.
Tomorrow I'm going to venture to the farther away dress shops with Amanda, Julie, and Jenna. That should be mildly entertaining. I'll take more pictures :D.

Tell me about your day.

♥ Olive

&Again I lack the creativity to blog about something incredibly interesting, so I'm just going to post a few photos from my time with Shayla, and ramble on :). Tonight I've spent the majority of my time after Tom left working on my research paper. The topic I chose was how Christianity lacks the substantial evidence to make it a rational source of conflict. Yes, this relates back to my Bukowski post, but I think I'll take this paper more in a political direction, getting into separation of state, religious wars/conflicts, ect. Amanda found this really interesting website though.. www.godisimaginary.com , I highly suggest checking it out sometime. The facts they give are just so.. true. I'm appauled at how sexist the religion actually is, and if we were to actually abide by all of god's commands, we'd be committing mass genocide. The bible actually says to murder homosexuals, those who rebel against their parents(or something along those lines), people who work on the Sabbath, and others. I'd have to research more to find out exactly who else is on the death list, but c'mon. How irrational does this sound? Back to sexism, the bible says women should not speak out, or even speak in the church! So, all you bible-thumping young ladies, god actually wants you to shush up.
Okay, haha. I'm getting too caught up in this :P. I need to simmer down. It's just that the more I read about it, the angier I become at how the whole religion operates.

let's get lighthearted again :)
So I mentioned my visit with Shayla was really nice, and I now have some pictures from our adventures :P. I'm so glad tomorrow's Friday, I think I might look around for prom dress ideas. There's a local-ish thrift store, plus a bridal shoppe(expensive). But that'll ateast give me a starting point. I want to venture out to the more varied shops that are 45-60 minutes away, but I'll need the ambition, directions, and co-piolet to help me navigate :P. I think Amanda plans to come with me, she needs a dress too. I don't want to spend a fortune on prom, but I do want to look nice, and have a wonderful time.


what a colorful group of youngsters we are! :D


dressing room fun :P. we were hiding during a mallwide game of hide&seek.


Oh, I just look ravishing in faux bear fur ;).


♥ Olive
Have a wonderful weekend everyone :D

new visions

Final answer---YES.
Tonight was the New Visions meeting.
I, along with my mom, went to the nearby hospital building to hear the presentation about the program, and see the other students interested in participating. It turns out another girl from my class is applying, so if we're both accepted I won't feel so alone :). I'm excited to make new friends though. After watching the powerpoint and listening to the instructor, I realized that I really do want to do this. It's just so much more interesting than normal schoolwork. Disecting cow hearts and sheep brains, how much cooler can it get?! Hahah. Yeah, maybe I'm a little gross, but I find that kind of stuff fascinating. Plus I'd like to experience all of the fields of medicine they visit, and learn hands-on. Neurology or psychology are my fields of choice right now, but I'm sure that's subject to change. This program would be a challenge, I know, but I think I'm ready for it. I don't want to be continue just sailing along. I want to learn about something worthwhile, in a new, interesting enviorment.

I'm a little worried I won't make it in though. There must have been atleast 25 students at the meeting, maybe 30. They only accept fifteen applicants. I've always felt my grades were decent, especially this year. First quarter was 95 overall, second quarter was a 92. Great grades to me, but I don't know where I stand compared to the others, who are actually offered AP classes. The school I go to is so small that it doesn't. So my classes are intergrated with people who waste time and couldn't give a shit about whether they pass or fail. I guess I just want to learn elsewhere, about more interesting topics. I'd still spend half of my day at regular school, which is good because I don't want Amanda to feel completely abandoned. I wish she could do New Visions too, but she doesn't have the credits for it :/. But yes, I'm excited for the program now. I just need to fill out the application, get reccomendations, and write an autobiographical essay. Key word being just, haha.

I promise I'll write a better post later. One not focused on my future, something that actually has blogworthy interest. I won't be offended if noone comments this. I'd take the time to write something better, but I have a U.S. History book opened in front of me on the desk, and it's quickly approaching 11:00. I need to get things done.

I'm trying to keep up the best I can :).

love spectrum.

March Already?!

Currents:
[Eating]: A delicious, plump orange :)
[Writing]: Up a chemistry lab report. (Booooooo) And this(yay!)
[Desiring]: Traveling anywhere really. Preferably Europe.
[Jammin' to]: My Letter - Flaw
[Missing]: Shayla. A few hours at the mall is so not enough :(.
[Sporting]: This indigo/black tweed print hoodie, along with blue skinny jeans, pearl bracelet, and friendship ones.
[Disappointment]: Dropkick Murphy's tickets are sold out.

Hope you're alright, it's been rough for me.
Thinking all night, about the places I'd be
If I maybe, just did a little bit more.
You might have let me become a man for sure.
And if I might express one concern, it seems an issue
All day at every turn. What's the next step,
The latest hole in my life. What's next for me to learn?
[My Letter - Flaw]

The spectrum of love.

I've always believed the theory of everyone having one true love, which they find and encounter at some point in their lifetime, and that's it. However, I'm starting to think maybe that isn't true. Love can exist on many different levels, and that's what makes it so confusing. You can love your family, and you can love your friends. But things get contorted once your love of a friend begins to sway to something bigger, something romanctic. Once you love someone, you usually feel like they're the only person you're capable of feeling that way towards. But, things change. Sometimes it's inevitable, they lose their feelings for you, and you're left scrambling for reasons. Or something out of both of your hands happens, like when people grow old and their significant other passes away. You may care a great, phenomonal deal about someone, but sometimes, you must move on. Either that, or be content with loneliness. I do however think that there's someone out there for everyone who just tips the scale on the spectrum. That person who you feel more strongly for than you ever have, who knows and understands you better than anyone else. The person you're so intrigued by and comfortable around that you could slip a ring on your finger, say "I do", and stay with them for the rest of your life. That's true love, if you mean it. But can you have more than one of those? I couldn't tell you. There's no point in convincing yourself though, that love only happens once. If you're certain of that, you deny yourself the chance to be proven wrong, and potentially being happier than you would have. There are so many people in the world, it's foolish to dwell on one who doesn't want you. Life has a funny way of tangling people in situations, and if something's meant to be, somehow it will happen. I pin that on human nature, not fate or a god. If two people truly want to be with eachother, sooner or later they will probably click. And if two people are meant to wind up with eachother, their separate paths will intertwine again. In the meantime, it's best to keep an open heart and an open mind to new opportunities, and remember that love is a spectrum, it's not just black or white. It's a beautiful rainbow, a plethra of human emotion.

I think I just needed to convince myself of that.
I've spent too much time thinking about love, but now it's out of my system. :) Phew.

1. Friday afternoon I went to the library with Jenna, Julie, Amanda, and John :). I love going there. We're all big book/movie junkies, so once we open the doors, we all disperse and scatter to find new things to borrow. I checked out two books this time. Post Secret- A lifetime of Secrets, which is a collection of all of those artsy postcards that tell the sender's secret in a creative way. I think they're interesting. You can also look at them on the website( http://www.postsecret.com/ ) Then I checked out another book, A mind of it's own, which is supposed to describe how the brain decides the things we don't consciously control, or something like that.


2. Friday night Amanda and I went back to Julie's, Jenna was busy. Tom had two of his friends there, and they were being lazy couch potatoes, not letting us play Pokemon on nintendo 64 >:/. Once their movie was over (which two of them were sleeping through, haha) we battled. We got sleepy after awhile and went to bed.


3. The next day we went to the mall to see Shayla :D. It was us three, along with Jenna, Ashley(Shayla's roommate who drove her) and Ashley's boyfriend, Dakota. It was a pretty fun time, even though our mall is boring. We spiced it up by playing a game of hide and seek! It was great :). Shayla, Jenna, and I hid in the dressing room of the Bon Ton. We gave the opposite team clues while we tried on funky grandma clothes. So great, haha. I took some pictures, but most of them are on Shayla's camera, so I'll post them later when she sends them to me :). Also, we ate at our favorite place --- Panera's!


4. Sunday was a bore. I sat here all day, I didn't step foot outside once. I did get my homework done, if that counts for anything. Tom came over for like two seconds, if that counts for anything. He wanted to pick up his money from my parents/his bosses :P, so he could buy an xbox 360. He invited me to go with them, but I declined because I thought I might see Shayla today. Turns out she ran too late at Dakota's with Ashley though, so she didn't have time for one last visit :/. I miss that girl. It was really good to be able to see her yesterday though, making jokes, laughing, hugging. I wish we still lived close.

Accomplishment of the day: I finally successfully made crepes! Nicole gave me the recipe ages ago, but tonight I got around to doing it :). About the third or fourth one, they began to actually resemble the thin, delectable, french breakfast food. I even had the ambition to continue making them for my parent's dinner, which they were happily surprised with.
So I think I'm going to attempt to advance my culinary skills. I've always been weary of cooking, because we lack "from scratch" ingredients, and my mother has never been big on cooking. Given those circumstances, it's always been easier to just munch on microwavable entres, or eat foods with little to no preparation. I want to broaden my taste bud horizons though ;P. Since the crepes were not a complete bust, I think I'll keep on trucking. Any suggestions of what I should make next?