&Again I lack the creativity to blog about something incredibly interesting, so I'm just going to post a few photos from my time with Shayla, and ramble on :). Tonight I've spent the majority of my time after Tom left working on my research paper. The topic I chose was how Christianity lacks the substantial evidence to make it a rational source of conflict. Yes, this relates back to my Bukowski post, but I think I'll take this paper more in a political direction, getting into separation of state, religious wars/conflicts, ect. Amanda found this really interesting website though.. www.godisimaginary.com , I highly suggest checking it out sometime. The facts they give are just so.. true. I'm appauled at how sexist the religion actually is, and if we were to actually abide by all of god's commands, we'd be committing mass genocide. The bible actually says to murder homosexuals, those who rebel against their parents(or something along those lines), people who work on the Sabbath, and others. I'd have to research more to find out exactly who else is on the death list, but c'mon. How irrational does this sound? Back to sexism, the bible says women should not speak out, or even speak in the church! So, all you bible-thumping young ladies, god actually wants you to shush up.
Okay, haha. I'm getting too caught up in this :P. I need to simmer down. It's just that the more I read about it, the angier I become at how the whole religion operates.

let's get lighthearted again :)
So I mentioned my visit with Shayla was really nice, and I now have some pictures from our adventures :P. I'm so glad tomorrow's Friday, I think I might look around for prom dress ideas. There's a local-ish thrift store, plus a bridal shoppe(expensive). But that'll ateast give me a starting point. I want to venture out to the more varied shops that are 45-60 minutes away, but I'll need the ambition, directions, and co-piolet to help me navigate :P. I think Amanda plans to come with me, she needs a dress too. I don't want to spend a fortune on prom, but I do want to look nice, and have a wonderful time.


what a colorful group of youngsters we are! :D


dressing room fun :P. we were hiding during a mallwide game of hide&seek.


Oh, I just look ravishing in faux bear fur ;).


♥ Olive
Have a wonderful weekend everyone :D

new visions

Final answer---YES.
Tonight was the New Visions meeting.
I, along with my mom, went to the nearby hospital building to hear the presentation about the program, and see the other students interested in participating. It turns out another girl from my class is applying, so if we're both accepted I won't feel so alone :). I'm excited to make new friends though. After watching the powerpoint and listening to the instructor, I realized that I really do want to do this. It's just so much more interesting than normal schoolwork. Disecting cow hearts and sheep brains, how much cooler can it get?! Hahah. Yeah, maybe I'm a little gross, but I find that kind of stuff fascinating. Plus I'd like to experience all of the fields of medicine they visit, and learn hands-on. Neurology or psychology are my fields of choice right now, but I'm sure that's subject to change. This program would be a challenge, I know, but I think I'm ready for it. I don't want to be continue just sailing along. I want to learn about something worthwhile, in a new, interesting enviorment.

I'm a little worried I won't make it in though. There must have been atleast 25 students at the meeting, maybe 30. They only accept fifteen applicants. I've always felt my grades were decent, especially this year. First quarter was 95 overall, second quarter was a 92. Great grades to me, but I don't know where I stand compared to the others, who are actually offered AP classes. The school I go to is so small that it doesn't. So my classes are intergrated with people who waste time and couldn't give a shit about whether they pass or fail. I guess I just want to learn elsewhere, about more interesting topics. I'd still spend half of my day at regular school, which is good because I don't want Amanda to feel completely abandoned. I wish she could do New Visions too, but she doesn't have the credits for it :/. But yes, I'm excited for the program now. I just need to fill out the application, get reccomendations, and write an autobiographical essay. Key word being just, haha.

I promise I'll write a better post later. One not focused on my future, something that actually has blogworthy interest. I won't be offended if noone comments this. I'd take the time to write something better, but I have a U.S. History book opened in front of me on the desk, and it's quickly approaching 11:00. I need to get things done.

I'm trying to keep up the best I can :).

love spectrum.

March Already?!

Currents:
[Eating]: A delicious, plump orange :)
[Writing]: Up a chemistry lab report. (Booooooo) And this(yay!)
[Desiring]: Traveling anywhere really. Preferably Europe.
[Jammin' to]: My Letter - Flaw
[Missing]: Shayla. A few hours at the mall is so not enough :(.
[Sporting]: This indigo/black tweed print hoodie, along with blue skinny jeans, pearl bracelet, and friendship ones.
[Disappointment]: Dropkick Murphy's tickets are sold out.

Hope you're alright, it's been rough for me.
Thinking all night, about the places I'd be
If I maybe, just did a little bit more.
You might have let me become a man for sure.
And if I might express one concern, it seems an issue
All day at every turn. What's the next step,
The latest hole in my life. What's next for me to learn?
[My Letter - Flaw]

The spectrum of love.

I've always believed the theory of everyone having one true love, which they find and encounter at some point in their lifetime, and that's it. However, I'm starting to think maybe that isn't true. Love can exist on many different levels, and that's what makes it so confusing. You can love your family, and you can love your friends. But things get contorted once your love of a friend begins to sway to something bigger, something romanctic. Once you love someone, you usually feel like they're the only person you're capable of feeling that way towards. But, things change. Sometimes it's inevitable, they lose their feelings for you, and you're left scrambling for reasons. Or something out of both of your hands happens, like when people grow old and their significant other passes away. You may care a great, phenomonal deal about someone, but sometimes, you must move on. Either that, or be content with loneliness. I do however think that there's someone out there for everyone who just tips the scale on the spectrum. That person who you feel more strongly for than you ever have, who knows and understands you better than anyone else. The person you're so intrigued by and comfortable around that you could slip a ring on your finger, say "I do", and stay with them for the rest of your life. That's true love, if you mean it. But can you have more than one of those? I couldn't tell you. There's no point in convincing yourself though, that love only happens once. If you're certain of that, you deny yourself the chance to be proven wrong, and potentially being happier than you would have. There are so many people in the world, it's foolish to dwell on one who doesn't want you. Life has a funny way of tangling people in situations, and if something's meant to be, somehow it will happen. I pin that on human nature, not fate or a god. If two people truly want to be with eachother, sooner or later they will probably click. And if two people are meant to wind up with eachother, their separate paths will intertwine again. In the meantime, it's best to keep an open heart and an open mind to new opportunities, and remember that love is a spectrum, it's not just black or white. It's a beautiful rainbow, a plethra of human emotion.

I think I just needed to convince myself of that.
I've spent too much time thinking about love, but now it's out of my system. :) Phew.

1. Friday afternoon I went to the library with Jenna, Julie, Amanda, and John :). I love going there. We're all big book/movie junkies, so once we open the doors, we all disperse and scatter to find new things to borrow. I checked out two books this time. Post Secret- A lifetime of Secrets, which is a collection of all of those artsy postcards that tell the sender's secret in a creative way. I think they're interesting. You can also look at them on the website( http://www.postsecret.com/ ) Then I checked out another book, A mind of it's own, which is supposed to describe how the brain decides the things we don't consciously control, or something like that.


2. Friday night Amanda and I went back to Julie's, Jenna was busy. Tom had two of his friends there, and they were being lazy couch potatoes, not letting us play Pokemon on nintendo 64 >:/. Once their movie was over (which two of them were sleeping through, haha) we battled. We got sleepy after awhile and went to bed.


3. The next day we went to the mall to see Shayla :D. It was us three, along with Jenna, Ashley(Shayla's roommate who drove her) and Ashley's boyfriend, Dakota. It was a pretty fun time, even though our mall is boring. We spiced it up by playing a game of hide and seek! It was great :). Shayla, Jenna, and I hid in the dressing room of the Bon Ton. We gave the opposite team clues while we tried on funky grandma clothes. So great, haha. I took some pictures, but most of them are on Shayla's camera, so I'll post them later when she sends them to me :). Also, we ate at our favorite place --- Panera's!


4. Sunday was a bore. I sat here all day, I didn't step foot outside once. I did get my homework done, if that counts for anything. Tom came over for like two seconds, if that counts for anything. He wanted to pick up his money from my parents/his bosses :P, so he could buy an xbox 360. He invited me to go with them, but I declined because I thought I might see Shayla today. Turns out she ran too late at Dakota's with Ashley though, so she didn't have time for one last visit :/. I miss that girl. It was really good to be able to see her yesterday though, making jokes, laughing, hugging. I wish we still lived close.

Accomplishment of the day: I finally successfully made crepes! Nicole gave me the recipe ages ago, but tonight I got around to doing it :). About the third or fourth one, they began to actually resemble the thin, delectable, french breakfast food. I even had the ambition to continue making them for my parent's dinner, which they were happily surprised with.
So I think I'm going to attempt to advance my culinary skills. I've always been weary of cooking, because we lack "from scratch" ingredients, and my mother has never been big on cooking. Given those circumstances, it's always been easier to just munch on microwavable entres, or eat foods with little to no preparation. I want to broaden my taste bud horizons though ;P. Since the crepes were not a complete bust, I think I'll keep on trucking. Any suggestions of what I should make next?