Collaboration Nation

Thanks to a friend, I came across HitRECord for the first time. If you love Joseph Gordon-Levitt, this will knock your socks off. I guess the project has been around for a while, since 2010, as an open online collaboration between artists, writers, musicians, videographers, and other talented individuals. The project is gaining a lot of attention right now because they've just begun a television variety show, piecing together collaborations around a different theme for each episode. The first one is available on YouTube, titled #1. So if you're just discovering this as I was, it'll be easy to catch yourself up! I'm not usually one for gushing recommendations about shows or movies or anything really--but I just watched this tonight, and I felt like it would be selfish not to share. Even though I'm not really artistic, at least not in the visual sense, it still amped up my creative energy just by watching. It made me want to write, and here I am.

A quote Gordon-Levitt gave to the Salt Lake Tribune really stood out to me.

"Before it was a television show or a production company or even a website, it was just a little turn of phrase that I used to encourage myself," said Gordon-Levitt, who came up with the idea when he was having trouble getting work in his early 20s. Discouraged, he realized, "I have to take responsibility for my own creativity. I can’t wait around for someone to hire me and tell me that I’m allowed to make things. I love it too much. I can’t wait."

That resonates pretty well with me. Probably in a slightly different sense, I'm not really looking to make videos or to spearhead my own television production at the moment. But I am reaching a point where I should be putting myself out there. And I should be creating, if not for an audience, then at least for myself. I've been away from personal/creative writing for far too long. Academic writing can be draining at times, and I've been a college student for four years now. Saying that "out loud" just sounds ridiculous. Four YEARS..???!! Life moves fast. In another four years, I'll be 25, then another, 29. The concept of aging doesn't bother me, not yet anyways. But my main concern is that it only flies if I'm having fun and enjoying it. Yes. Days go quickly when you pack them full of things to do, to-do lists and errands, conference calls and business trips. Some of those may very well be a part of my life, but I don't want to look back on the last four years and remember nothing aside from working my ass off. College flew, but I have fond memories of crazy concerts, a winter vacation spent volunteering on the Ecuadorian coast, movie nights with roommates, and coming home from a night out and ordering the same Pad Thai from "Asian Place," yes, that's their real name. Tons of inside jokes that will probably follow me or my friends forever, depending on who's the subject. I've managed to get a lot done in college, while still making a little time to enjoy myself here and there. But it gets harder with time, and with added responsibilities. So I guess my main point here, is that I want to remind myself not to get too caught up, to remember to make time for self-expression, good times, and great people. 

And to be creative, and find ways to make my work meaningful. That's the ideal.

I had a good meeting through work yesterday, where I was able to meet with several community and social service agencies in the region and collaborate about how we can help people best with our resources and services. Everyone was so energized to help, it was awesome. We talked about doing back-to-school giveaways for backpacks and school supplies for the community, doing a gardening themed event and giving away seeds and information on how to grow food, among others. It feels really good to be a part of something so positive. I feel that way a lot at work, and the days where I get a little overwhelmed or discouraged, I try to bring myself back to that feeling of purpose and it usually restores me. 

For giggles, and since it's Thursday, I've included some throwbacks to my earlier college days. Enjoy! ;)

 Really starting to miss my bangs right about now.. Hmm..

I got a little off-topic I suppose, but what gets you guys feeling creative? Or nostalgic, because I'm feeling a bit of both. Mostly nostalgic, but at least I found the motivation to post :). Second time this month! I'm making some serious progress, hahah. 

Hope everyone's having a great week, heading into a fabulous weekend!

Olivia

Internal Conflict

When I think about where I want to transfer to after next year I am conflicted. When I think about what kind of work I want to be doing once I get out of school I am conflicted. It's all one big self-confliction and I haven't the slightest idea how to sort it all out before it's too late.

Thinking about it I've always kind of had this identity issue (don't worry, this isn't about to get psychotic), but I've always been torn between my farm girl roots and my curiosity for the bigger world. A Country Mouse and the City Mouse dilema if you will.
There's a simplicity to the country life that I love---there's something beautiful about deep green grass and a hard day's work and an honest living. The older I grow, the more I admire the country people. The more I appreciate the work my parents do to produce high quality milk--the more I see the injustice of how little farmers get for doing so much. My parents work 12-14 hours every day (including weekends) on the farm, all year round, yet we're just making ends meet. Seeing our struggle always kind of pushed me away from the lifestyle, "I just want to do anything but that..," get me to the city, give me tall buildings, clean structures, modern interior design. Give me a desk and an office and a steady paycheck that has no dependency on the inconsistent prices for milk/hundredweight. But now as I get older I'm drawn more to the pride of producing something, creating something of your own that can better the world somehow. I get ideas in my head of expanding our maple business, of possibly starting up some kind of other venture.. I get ideas of having a nice house out in the country with plenty of land.. If I have a family that's something I definitely want.. I can't picture myself permenantly living in a city.. It's something I would do for awhile for the experience of it, but I feel like it isn't where my roots are. So it makes me wonder where my future is headed. I always thought I was bound to be this big city girl, you know? I mean maybe.. but it's all so confusing. There's like two images of myself that I conjure up when I think about the future.
On one side I see this professional journalist. This magazine editor, or this columnist, this successful woman who's aware of the world and has a voice to speak about it. She knows the issues, she cares about the issues, and she pushes them to the surface. She conducts or contributes to meetings with big fancy posterboard with expoential growth charts and vibrant photos to be selected for the publication. She writes down story ideas and her words hit the printed press in copy, after copy, after copy. She has Starbucks in one hand and a ballpoint pen in the other, she gets down the business.
Now meet the other self, she's in the sugarhouse boiling down tree sap to make maple syrup. A lively Austrailian Shepard paces in front of her, asking for attention. Once she finishes boiling for the day she goes inside to work a little more on her novel with a cup of hot chocolate sitting on her large wooden desk. The dog sleeps beneath her feet and only stirs when the front door opens signaling that her husband is home. Maybe she's a notable author, or maybe she works for a local media outlet, but she resides in the country. There's room for dogs to run and a family to grow. She might have some livestock, maybe if she gets ambitious she'll start up a small dairy business, or maybe she'll raise puppies, or maybe her husband is a crop man. Or something else entirely, or a mixture. Whatever she does she loves the land and loves the animals, she takes care of them both. An agricultural hippie.

This is why I'm so conflicted. I see these two persons, and I don't know which path I'm supposed to take.

College I feel is a major step in either direction. Two of the schools I'm considering go hand in hand with these opposite persons. One is a media arts college in Chicago, supposed to be fantastic for gaining a media-driven education, they even have Magazine Journalism as its own independent major. Usually everything is just lumped together under the vague title of "Journalism." Great facilities, wicked cool dorm options (bathroom and kitchen in every suite), really modern look.. And they have a minor in environmental science option. Problem is, it's a big change to a humongous city--and it's 15 hours away by car. Coming home, I'd be on a plane for sure. Needless to say I wouldn't be coming home too much.

School #2 is half an hour to 45 minutes away, but in Vermont instead of New York. It's a small liberal arts college, focused on environmental sustainability. It's a close-knit community, and they do have a Communications/Journalism major, but it isn't nearly as focused as the city college, but that doesn't mean it can't be a good program. This school has Agricultural programs and a Writing program along with many environmental applications, that's its main thing afterall. It even has its own campus-run farm, where the students take on the responsibility of making sure the chores get done and the plants and livestock are taken care of. You learn about farming and how to do things like make your own cider and honey. There's a lot of chances to do things outdoors for recreation. I'm not sure if I would be better off commuting or living on campus if I went to this school..I'd kind of rather live on campus, but if the cost is greater than the gas---then it's up in the air.

I just don't know.. The city seems so interesting, but I also love the charm of a small, close-knit college full of other peace and earth-loving hippies like me. What if I try to snatch a bite of the city mouse cheese, only to be caught in the paws of the big cat? I just don't know, I feel like I'm at a crossroads. There's options beyond these two schools, but they're my top contenders at the moment, so I thought it'd be best to pair them against eachother.

There's one constant across my inconsistent string of ideas, and that's to receive a good education. Regardless of what I wind up doing, I want to always be learning, and college grants the best opportunities for that--the best intellectual environments, and I want to sieze the opportunity while I still can.

I know this was one big annoying argument with myself, so if any of you read this, I give you major credit.. Hopefully my next post will be on a different sort of topic.

OH WAIT, maybe I should let you guys know about my trip.. So I went in positive spirits, a chance to do something with my mom, and a "Farm Show" honestly didn't sound too bad to me, as I've admitted in this post, I'm kind of into that stuff. So we go late Thursday morning. We do a little shopping at the mall and go back to the hotel because we intend on going to the farm show in the morning. Hello major blizzard... It was snowing non-stop Friday, my mom was too weary to venture out in it.. So we were stuck in the hotel room, all day. I think I watched "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" and "The Shining." Perfect for being stranded in a hotel, no? So somehow I managed to survive through that, I tried to keep my complaining at a minimal, I knew my mom hadn't planned on this happening--it was right at the end of my vacation from college too.. so I really didn't want to be stuck for a day of nothing. But the next day we packed our bags, checked out of the Best Western, and headed to the Farm Show.It was pretty alright stuff. Mainly vendor booths advertising their product or services, spoke with some of them. It'd definitely be neat for someone who knew what everything was. Lots of big machinery, like huge. It was neat to be around so many "farm folk," wearing their Carhartts and boots, seeing both children and boys my own age climbing up into the tractor's to look them over. Did I mention this was all inside, thank god.. So my mom and I went around and looked at most every booth, she talked to company correspondents that she knew, we got a free buffet lunch from some friends of hers, and I bought maple cotton candy in the maple part. Although I wish it hadn't been a three-day-excursion, I'm glad I went and spent time with her, and it was a good experience to go to the show.

It was nice to come back though. I finished up visiting with friends, saw Amanda again, spent more time with Tom and Julie's family. One day, the day I was supposed to be heading back to college, Tom had the idea to go snowboarding on the hill behind his house. So much fun. It was pretty warm out too, so we were just in jeans and sweatshirts, falling down in the snow, and it didn't even feel that cold! I just got right back up, and trudged back up the mountain, it wasn't uncomfortably cold at all, it was weirdly..refreshing. I fell alot though, I have a ways to go in my snowboarding career, ha ha. Luckily the snow was deep too, so no pain. One run, I fell directly on top of the burdox bush... Smooooooth. Thankfully I had Tom to help pick the burs out of my sweatshirt. I went grocery shopping with them, and I had my own list too, and we didn't get back until 6:30 or so, and my mom wanted to take me home by 5, or I needed to find an alternative ride, she's not a night-time driver. So I decided what the hell, I'll just stay another night, because Julie offered to take me back the next day. So I went home and said my goodbyes, got a nice visit in with my grandma :). Never again after that one time, will I ever let myself be home without seeing my grandma atleast once. That time I ran out of time before I had to go back to college---guilt ate me for breakfast, lunch, and dinner all week. It felt nice to have an extra night too, not to rush right back to school. Julie and I had a nice drive down here too, I wish it had been farther kind of so our conversation didn't have to end as soon as it did. I'm hoping her and Amanda will come down to hang out here this weekend, but it's undecided. But here I am now, at college once again. Procrastinating homework once again ;), but atleast I'm blogging. I hope everything is going well with all of you.

Olive

Crossroads

Thinking about the future makes me panic.

I feel as if I'm approaching a crossroads. Even though I'm young, it seems like the path I choose to take now dictates a lot of things for me. The further I go into college, the more set on the track of becoming a journalist I become. Why would I spend four years working towards a degree only to push it to the side and never use it? If I'm here for this, I have to be serious about it. It costs a lot of money, money I could be saving for something else. So why am I uncertain? I don't know if media is really my thing. It interests me, but can I handle the fast pace of it, am I really passionate about it like others are? I honestly don't know. I haven't even gotten my feet wet and I'm trying to determine if I can take on the waves.

Sometimes, especially lately, I wish I could lead a double life so I could know what things would be like if I went in a different direction. What if I went to Community College like a lot of my friends to get my gen-eds and load up on credits? I would still have my job, I wouldn't feel like I'm constantly losing money without gaining a cent of it back. I would see my friends and family daily, I could play with my dog. I could experiment with cooking, I could be driving myself places.. I just don't know. I contemplate "what if's" too much. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I went away for school and for the experiences that I've had and the people I've met. I'm just thinking about where it's going to lead and the consequences my choices have.

All I want to do is read for enjoyment, sit around a bonfire with my close friends, take pictures of beautiful things.. I want to try yoga, play the piano and I wish I had time to make maple syrup and candies this year. I want to get to know my grandparents better while there's still time left. I want to take the time to learn German and I want to travel. I feel so restricted and pressed for time, the moments I take to relax and do something for myself are overshadowed with the obligations I know I have. Perfect example, I shouldn't be writing right now, my Nutrition assignment is past due and I've barely started it.. But I can't keep doing this, I need to give myself creative freedom and a chance to breathe and express myself. There has to be a better way. Maybe I'm not cut out for this, or maybe it's just a little bump in the road. I'll just keep on trucking though, the semester is coming to an end next month, then I get to explore a new set of courses. I just need a little re-organization to set me straight, and I definitely need a weekend of relaxing at home :-), which I will be doing as soon as I get out of classes tomorrow.
It just scares me that life is always about getting to the next step it seems, it's always waiting

and working towards things getting better. You work hard through highschool so you can get accepted into college. You spend years studying and going mad at college so you can begin a career. You start at the bottom of the career and work your way to the spot you actually want to be---and if you find out that it isn't all you hoped for, well, you work until you have the means to retire or you go back to the beginning and see that you can't find a niche where you belong somewhere. THIS. TERRIFIES. ME. dsfkmsdgmgfs!!! D:

Now that my pre-mature midlife crisis is out on the table, let's see what I've been doing in my free time since I last posted :).

S I R S Y

"Little Band, Big Sound", Sirsy has been me and my best friend's favorite local band for quite some time. Basically they're a two person band, singer/drummer/flutist Melanie Krahmer and Rich Libutti who plays guitar, piano, keyboard bass and anything else they decide to throw in. The way they do it, it founds like there's 4 or 5 people up there instead of just the two. Last time I was home, I was lucky enough to be in town for a show to be pretty close by. My friends and I were in the very front of a surprisingly uncrowded venue, and we wound up talking to Krahmer for quite a length of time after the performance :), so that was pretty awesome. As you can see, I got my shirt signed. These guys are pretty well known in the area, headlining for bands of the like: Maroon 5, Collective Soul, Blues Traveler, Train, Lifehouse.. you get the drift. They're coming back to play another show in December, I can't wait.

One of my college friends, Madiha, turned 18 within the last couple of weeks, so of course we had to treat her to something nice! We went to Moe's for some mexican food, her favorite, and she surprised us by treating US to icecream afterwards. She told us it's a custom in her family to treat people on your birthday. As much as we protested, insisting it was her birthday, we should be buying for HER, she refused and we ended up accepting the icecream :P.

We spent "Halloweekend" downtown as most of the college-goers do. I don't think I need to elaborate too much haha, but we had a good time, and I think I know how to take care of myself pretty well by this point. It was especially good to have a few of my good guy friends "the ol' boys" down for one of the nights :). I felt safer, plus they're just a riot and I always have a blast when they're around. I was a viking lady, Paige a kitty cat, and Madiha a mime! On actual Halloween we decided to take it easy so Paige, Shayla, and I went to the movies to see Paranormal Activity 2...SCARED ME SO BAD. My word. I haven't been frightened like that from a movie in a long time.

HOPE EVERYONE HAD A SPOOKY/AWESOME HALLOWEEN!

I can't wait to come home to this.. our porch overrun with an army of cats(don't these two look conjoined??!) We seriously have too many cats running around. Why you ask? Because people think that if you have a farm, you must need cats, so they feel free to just drop them off and they breed. Good thing my mom has a soft spot for the fuzzballs.

Question: I've noticed a lot of people have blogs that the post area is wider, how do you get it that way? My blog is teensy tiny, I want my posts and pictures to be wider/bigger, does anyone have any advice for that? Or what do you even do for layouts, I just used one of Blogger's templates and 'customized' it. Am I missing out on any better ways to do it? I'm not the most html savvy girl around.

Also, I decided to give NaNoWriMo a go :)!! I think it's an awesome idea, I have my self doubts, but I'm really going to try it. Is anyone else? We can motivate eachother, haha.

:),

Olive