I believe in...

I believe in..

- Late night conversations about life and the way society is. The ones that completely open up your mind and you're spilling thoughts like a busted faucet while everyone else is doing the same. Gaining understanding and perspective; becoming the kind of person that this world needs in order to be set straight.

- Keeping a moleskine journal with me at all times for when the inspiration hits, or when there's something I don't want to forget.

- The importance of hard work, especially that of farmers. They are truly some of the most under-appreciated people out there. Fourteen hour work days when things are going well, accompanied by the kind of wages that make you wonder; "Are you joking?"

- Taking long walks when I need to clear my head. Usually my Border Collie tags along.

- The Golden Rule. If you want to be treated well, treat others well. I don't think you should ever treat anyone with less kindness or respect than you expect to receive.

- Documenting your life through photos. You can never have too many pictures or too many memory cards :). I believe this allows you to preserve moments, freeze them if you will.

- HUGS. Such a day brightener, don't you think?

- Doing things just for you, whether it be taking a day off from school to give yourself a break, indulging in a bowl of icecream so-good-you-refuse-to-check-the-nutritional-facts-because-you-would-rather-continue-feeling-good-about-yourself. Or even just driving, going somewhere that you want to go, keeping your own agenda and going at your own pace.

- Love, and that it's inexplicable. I think that's why so many people have a hard time dealing with it, because there are no solid answers. You can't prove if someone's in love or not; you can't measure who loves who more. It's something you have to put everything out on the line for, and trust it'll turn out okay. I think love exists on many levels, including friendship, and can change at any time. There isn't an on or off switch, you learn and grow with someone and it progresses from there. Sometimes people realize they're better off as friends, sometimes they live happily ever after, and sometimes they find their own nook somewhere in between, and it works for them. People try to systemize it, force it, and it fails. I believe it's one of those things that you have to allow to take its own course.

- The power of a good read to change your outlook on life.

- Doing little things to be kinder to the environment. Turn the lights off when you leave the room, recycle your bottles, buy products that have been recycled, or are environmentally friendly. I'm also trying to eat more naturally; whole grains and natural foods. I'm not giving other things up entirely, but I believe that if you atleast increase the things you do that are good for the world and good for your body, it will without a doubt make a difference; atleast in your own life.

- Balance within everything. I'm the kind of person who does everything in moderation, or atleast tries to. I like having the freedom to verge off in different directions, depending on the time and the day. I don't like to put myself fully into anything, there are too many other things going on to be a part of and experience. I think this is why I have the curse of being the "over-involved student".

- The beauty of wandering and not having to know exactly where you are. I wish I could have been on the road with Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady. That would have been a riot ;).

- Resolving disagreements as quickly as possible. If something is wrong, I want it righted ASAP because you never truly know how much time you have. Sure, you could have eighty more years to talk to this person, but what if you don't? You've wasted time, and that's a shame.


- Creativity and artwork whether it be in the form of a painting, a sculpture, music, or a beautiful garment. Self expression is a wonderful thing, especially when it comes with a message.

- Science and evolution, but also in respecting the beliefs of those who think differently.

- Music and it's wonderous ability to lift your spirits and trap you in thought.

- Acting like a child when winter time rolls around, I believe in having fun.

- Writing letters by hand, and that they are more meaningful than a facebook comment could ever come close to. I believe I need to make more time to do this, and buy plenty of stationary when I depart for college.

The lovely Allison inspired me to write this post :). There are many other things I believe, but this should give you a taste, hahah.

Just living the life.
Attempting to keep my word in my last post, I've been trying to give myself more time to relax and have fun. Last week was pretty tightly packed, but I managed to have an enjoyable Friday as pictured above :). I hung out with those guys, who are basically like brothers/bro'has to me, hahah. We had a little kareoke session where we took turns singing. I was a little nervous at first because I don't consider myself to be vocally talented, hahaha, but it ended up being really fun. Saturday I ran errands and didn't do as much as I should have. It was one of those "Let's waste all of my time on Facebook" kind of days, hahah. That evening I went out with the guys to celebrate Derek's birthday :D. We had dinner at a chinese buffet and I stuffed myself full.

Sunday I finally went back to work-- I've had the longest stretch of time off! It was nice, but I didn't really need to extra time :P, especially since I'm trying to fly out to Iowa with my mom at the end of the month. After work I attended a garage show that my friends who are in a punk band were hosting. It was quite a bit of fun :), the bands I made it in time to see were pretty good, energetic. It was so loud in there though, my eardrums felt busted afterwards but that's okay. I needed a night out to enjoy myself. Then today I gave myself the day off from school, hahaha. Terrible, I know. But I didn't finish my assignments over the weekend, I was already exhausted, and my best friend Amanda already stated she was staying home to work on her art. Adding all of that together was more than enough to convince me to sleep in :). I actually did get a decent amount of work accomplished too. Lately I'm realizing that I've piled too much on my plate, and now I need to toss some scraps beneath the table. I cannot handle my regular classwork/homework, Yearbook, 2 hours twice a week of play rehearsals, 3 hours of mock trial twice a week, along with random key club/NHS/student council meetings while trying to hold down a job, help out on my farm, and attempting to have friends and eat/sleep/live as well. This is what we call an overload. I think I'm going to have to drop mock trial, although I thought it was a fun idea. I think I'm stuck with theater.. so I'll have to just pace myself through that. I don't know how else to cut things back, I think that's as much as I can do for now. It's tough stuff, this growing up business.

Have a wonderful week! I'll be catching up soon :).

Winter Contemplation

There are not enough hours in the day.

It's 11:11 right now, I should make a wish ;). But in all seriousness, it's this late, and there are still quite a few things I need to be doing. Staying out until seven or later most school nights to do the barn chores probably doesn't help, but still.. I feel as though we're forced to just rush through life, poked and prodded when all we want to do is stop to smell the roses. I actually don't care much for the smell, but you get the idea. Relaxation seems to be frowned upon these days.

I'm not talking about sitting around watching Date My Mom, or a reality tv show. I'm talking about having the time to sit down and read a book without having to keep track of the clock. I'm talking about painting and drawing, writing poems or stories; even just little tidbits of inspiration that come into your head. I'm talking about making yourself dinner without using the microwave. All of these things seem to take a backseat to our academic and mandatory obligations. Whenever I've tried to read before bed this week, it has been impossible. My head hits the pillow and I'm done.

Even though I already have a lot on my plate, I think I want to try skiing. I've never had a 'winter sport', and with a lot of people I know taking advantage of the local mountains, I feel like I might as well give it a try. I only plan to go once or twice a week at most, probably only once, when they have discounted nights. I don't own skis, so I might have to find someone to borrow from. I thought about snowboarding, but I hear it's pretty difficult and expensive, and atleast I'm more likely to do well at skiing, and I have the land to do it cross country on my property. I don't know, I just think it might be a fun way to break myself out of this rut of boringness and obligations. Who said being a senior was easy? I just don't know, I have so much on my plate that I feel like hardly any of it's allowed to be devoted to myself. It's all about responsibility and being prepared for college. I guess by taking the time to do things just for me, it's kind of paying myself back in a sense, and giving me some the opportunity to let go of the stress and just enjoy myself.

My friends and I did a little iceskating over the weekend at one of their houses, which kind of set the mood for me wanting to find a way to enjoy the winter outdoors. Amanda and myself above, not the most flattering picture of me, but hey, we had a good time.
Painting is starting to appeal to me lately.

Just as a hobby type of thing. I'm not some fabulous artist, I just do things for fun when I feel up for it(my last two studyhalls that I spend in the art room), which isn't as often I as I'd like. Below are a few pieces I've done during this year, they weren't very time consuming, but I figured I'd show them anyways. The second one is a Sharpie drawing. And yes, that's my lovely Ralph Lauren comforter they're resting on :).

Since I was without my laptop for awhile, and then without my camera, I never got around to posting any of these fall photos, so here you go; random outdoor cats and my crazy little Border Collie named Candy.



Have a great week everyone, I'll be catching up :).

Hello 2010,

Wow, isn't that strange to say?

I personally think it'll be the hardest to become accustomed to writing X/X/10, instead of oh-something. At the same time it's cool though, just thinking of all of the time we have been around for. A friend of mine gave me something to ponder; there are eight year olds out there who weren't alive for 9/11.

So any which way, I spent the last evening of 2009 with my friends and their cousins up at their house. It was pretty fun :), your typical hanging out and whatnot, along with staying up til five in the AM. I actually skipped out on watching the ball drop and opted to seeing the fireworks outside instead. I allowed myself to sleep in til nearly 3:00 the next day, and here I am still tonight :). Tomorrow I'll be driving us home, a two hour trip, which I really don't mind. I was pretty happy that my parents allowed me to drive that far-- especially with just my friends, and it makes me that much more excited for road trips in the hopefully-near-future.

Quick re-cap on recent events: Somewhere between my last post and now I went with my guy friends to a local shopping center to pass some time. One of my friends, Zack, brought me to Barnes & Noble so I could pick out a book as my Christmas present :). I picked a Christopher Fowler mystery; TheWater Room. Along with that I chose another novel out of that series to buy myself, I just can't rightfully think which one it was,.. but it had an orange cover. Then I also bought A Thousand Splendid Suns, How Stuff Works(it was in the bargain section and looked interesting). From what I can tell it explains how television works, time, engines, ect. I bought another book "Made In America",but I plan to exchange it for something better; perhaps a moleskin journal. After B&N we went to the mall where I bought the peacoat above at Forever 21 :). I've been wanting one of these for awhile now, and at $24, it's a decent price. I spent the rest of that evening hanging out with those guys, the same ones as the cabin story in the previous post, which was definitely fun :).

VICTORY IS MINE.

Seriously, persistence pays off. Okay, maybe not in all cases, but it did for me this vacation. As many of you know, I lost my camera during a party I had a little while back. Well, I was becoming more and more frustrated with not having it, so this week I bundled myself up, grabbed a flashlight, and got down to business. But no, it was not to defeat 'the Huns' ;). As you can see from the photo above, I ripped up the entire first level of hay bales, which are normally nice and neat. I was tossing bales left and right, reaching my arm into scratchy holes, in a major effort to find my camera. I was ready to give up, out of breath, texting my friend to say I doubted I would ever find it. Then as I was about to leave, a couple of bales caught my eye and I decided to pull them up, reached my arm into the only gap I saw, and presto! There was my camera case :). I have to admit, I felt pretty accomplished. It still works perfectly too. Lesson of the day: Sometimes a little hard work is all that it takes.

A New Year.

Honestly, I didn't sit down and create resolutions before the fact. I had a thing or two in mind, but nothing extreme, you know? Being the first day of the new year, it really isn't too late to write a few ideas down though.

- Assert. I have been noted as a "pushover" before, and let's face it, that term is less than complimentary. It isn't too far fetched though, I'm that agreeable kind of person. It takes alot to truly anger me, and I usually don't make big deals out of things. That can be a good thing, but sometimes I think you need to vocalize how you feel, especially if you allow someone to make a choice for you that goes against what you really want. Especially if your justification is avoiding making the other person mad or creating an inconvenience.

- Write. Supposedly I want to be an author. This being said, you would think I write my brains out, my fingers sore. But sadly, I don't write much at all outside of blogging. I need to change this. I saw that my friend's cousin this weekend, who I also consider my friend, carries a small journal around at all times. That way he can always catch inspiration when it hits. I found that to be a brilliant idea and I think I may have to start doing so myself. I should read more as well.

- Cherish. As I've mentioned before, I worry about my grandparents at their current age and state of health. I really should spend more time with them, getting to really know them and their stories before I lose the chance. This isn't limited to them either; I'm moving on to college next year, I should use this time to show my parents that I appreciate them and everything they've done for me-- become closer, and get to know all of my friends on an even greater level than I already do. When I leave I want to truly know who I'm leaving behind. I want to know who to keep in my life, and have real reasons for why they should stay in mine.

Well, I hope everyone had a wonderful end to their year, and continue to enjoy this new one :). I'll be catching up with blogs soon.