Happy Holidays

Time management is not high on the list of things that I am exceptional at doing and often, it leaves me disappointed. When I try to prioritize, it's not even that I spread myself too thin, it's almost like I slap a slab of butter on one side of my toast and let the other half be dry and bland. This is the most fitting analogy I can come up with :P. I put so much into my social life, and my time with friends that my introspective life tends to take a backseat. I can't remember the last time I took hours out of my day to just sit and read. To sit down and write a post. To draw. I'm very lucky to have found the amazing friends that I have, but I desperately need to learn how to take a step back and be by myself from time to time. School was a big factor too, because the time that I had for myself had to be given to my education. If I was just sitting around and decided, "hm, maybe I'll write a post" or "maybe I'll start that book.." I'd remember whatever assignments are coming up, lurking over my head and I realize I just don't have the time.. It isn't quite New Years Eve but I really think that my resolution will be involving time management and taking more time for myself, to grow as a person.

I love blogging, and I love reading what each of you has to say, and I love that you take the time to read what I have to say. My lack of writing isn't due to a lack of interest in blogging, it's always been an issue with being disorganized and poor time management.. It's something that I hope I'm able to turn around for this upcoming year. I know it's been forever, but I'll attempt to give an update on my life, I'll keep it short since it's been so long.

I've got a Nikon camera, I love to take a photograph..

This was an early Christmas present to myself. After much deliberation and talking to my highschool art/photography teacher and a lady who I knew had the D3000 and raved about it, I decided it was time for me to upgrade to my own big camera. I still have a lot to learn about it but I'm really enjoying what I'm finding it can do. Thanks to Allison for suggesting the Nikon to me :).

Sirsy played another local show recently, and of course we had to go :D. If you aren't familiar with the band Melanie is the singer/drummer/flutist/whatever she needs to be, she's right next to me, and her guitarist Rich is next to her. We'll be seeing them again on New Years Eve.

IHOP feast following a concert in Albany. Chocolate chip pancakes..♥

Last week my friends and I got together for a fancy Christmas dinner. We cooked ham, potatoes, green beens, and Amanda brought a dish of macaroni and cheese. Brandy cider and white wine complimented the dinner well. We exchanged presents too. I forgot to take pictures but I fixed up these little Christmas cups with penguins on them filled with Lindt chocolates, hershey hugs, Snickers, and rock candy. Julie knitted me an AWESOME scarf, it's such a cool combination of colors, I'll try to remember to post a photo. Then Amanda gave me yankee candle chapstick and Whoopie Goldberg's new book, "Is it Me or is it Nuts Out There?" I almost died laughing! I can't wait to read it! Overall a very fun and memorable evening.

The mandatory Christmas tree pic ;). This is actually the biggest tree that we've ever had, all thanks to Tom the woodsman ha ha. I went over to his house and we walked up into the woods and he climbed right up the tree and cut the top off. Yeah, he's pretty impressive :).

I love the holiday season, and I love giving present, but I am pretty glad to have it be over now. I feel like I can finally relax and get myself back on track. I made myself step on the treadmill for the first time in months this morning. The freshman five is growing to a freshman ten and I am putting an end to it right here and now before the freshman 15 becomes a reality. I actually think it's more holiday weight than college weight really.. Well maybe it began before finals because I was pretty stressed and pretty unconcerned with health around that time, then came the holiday break.. so, you know :P. Now I'm going to get back into shape and get feeling healthy again. Plus I'm going to really work on that whole time management and improving myself thing. I'm sure the rest of my college friends on here are glad to be home for the holidays, it sure feels nice to have the first semester under my belt. I didn't do outstandingly well, I came out with a 2.8 GPA, but I passed everything, and now that I know what to expect, I think I'll do much better in the next semester.

I hope you've all had a wonderful Christmas or holiday, and I'm anxious to catch up.

With love,

Olive

In the end, only kindness matters.

I think one of the greatest feelings we can encounter as humans, is the feeling when someone reaches out to you, and you're able to help them in return.


I was waiting for the bus today, by myself, and another

student comes up to me and starts talking. I forget how he initiated the conversation, but he began asking me questions like what year I was, my major, what classes I take, ect. At first it was a little off-putting, haha. I'm just waiting for the bus, I didn't sign up to play 20 questions.. But the more I spoke with him, I started to find things out, and he started to really like, open up and talk to me. I found out he was born in China, and he's been going to school here for a few years, but doesn't really know anyone too well because he lives off-campus, and he has a lot of trouble with the language. It broke my heart that he seemed to be so...alone. He was getting pretty personal, saying he was going through a tough phase and saying how he really needs to be more thankful for everything. It's really hard to advise someone when you well, don't exactly know them, at all.. but I told him that we all just need to appreciate the little things, like how it's such a beautiful day[which it was]. I can't tell for sure, but it seemed to me like that might've helped him somehow. Just having someone listen, and share their thoughts, and their stories(I told him all about my farm and my small, small school which flat out amazed him haha) can sometimes be just what a person needs.

This weekend is sort of different, I have the dorm to myself. My suitemates are still in and out of course, but my actual roommate went home for her friend's birthday. Usually when she goes home, I go home. Plus I go home pretty often in general, hahaha. But this weekend I decided that I need to actually act like I live here. It's kind of nice being able to go places by myself, don't get me wrong, I love going places with my roommate and friends, but every once in a blue moon, it's refreshing to be on your own. It's nice to be on your own schedule, spending as much time in the world as you'd like doing whatever you see fit. It felt like forever that I roamed around Macy's in a daze, admiring their kitchen-ware that I have no use for here, strolling down their "Holiday Lane", which made me long for Christmas to hurry up and get here.. I'm in like, such a holiday mood :). It's weird though, because at home we honestly don't do much for the holidays, sadly. My parents are busy people, busy farmers. They don't want to spend the time they have to finally sit down, decorating the house. My mom doesn't want to spend all morning taking care of the calves, to come inside and cook a big Thanksgiving dinner. So we don't really go all-out decorating and we usually order a dinner from Hannaford. It makes sense. Sometimes I wish I had the ambition or time to take care of that sort of stuff, maybe now that I'm an "adult" I will :P.

I'm off for round two of exploring this 'city' of mine. I hope everyone's having a great weekend!

Olive

Crossroads

Thinking about the future makes me panic.

I feel as if I'm approaching a crossroads. Even though I'm young, it seems like the path I choose to take now dictates a lot of things for me. The further I go into college, the more set on the track of becoming a journalist I become. Why would I spend four years working towards a degree only to push it to the side and never use it? If I'm here for this, I have to be serious about it. It costs a lot of money, money I could be saving for something else. So why am I uncertain? I don't know if media is really my thing. It interests me, but can I handle the fast pace of it, am I really passionate about it like others are? I honestly don't know. I haven't even gotten my feet wet and I'm trying to determine if I can take on the waves.

Sometimes, especially lately, I wish I could lead a double life so I could know what things would be like if I went in a different direction. What if I went to Community College like a lot of my friends to get my gen-eds and load up on credits? I would still have my job, I wouldn't feel like I'm constantly losing money without gaining a cent of it back. I would see my friends and family daily, I could play with my dog. I could experiment with cooking, I could be driving myself places.. I just don't know. I contemplate "what if's" too much. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I went away for school and for the experiences that I've had and the people I've met. I'm just thinking about where it's going to lead and the consequences my choices have.

All I want to do is read for enjoyment, sit around a bonfire with my close friends, take pictures of beautiful things.. I want to try yoga, play the piano and I wish I had time to make maple syrup and candies this year. I want to get to know my grandparents better while there's still time left. I want to take the time to learn German and I want to travel. I feel so restricted and pressed for time, the moments I take to relax and do something for myself are overshadowed with the obligations I know I have. Perfect example, I shouldn't be writing right now, my Nutrition assignment is past due and I've barely started it.. But I can't keep doing this, I need to give myself creative freedom and a chance to breathe and express myself. There has to be a better way. Maybe I'm not cut out for this, or maybe it's just a little bump in the road. I'll just keep on trucking though, the semester is coming to an end next month, then I get to explore a new set of courses. I just need a little re-organization to set me straight, and I definitely need a weekend of relaxing at home :-), which I will be doing as soon as I get out of classes tomorrow.
It just scares me that life is always about getting to the next step it seems, it's always waiting

and working towards things getting better. You work hard through highschool so you can get accepted into college. You spend years studying and going mad at college so you can begin a career. You start at the bottom of the career and work your way to the spot you actually want to be---and if you find out that it isn't all you hoped for, well, you work until you have the means to retire or you go back to the beginning and see that you can't find a niche where you belong somewhere. THIS. TERRIFIES. ME. dsfkmsdgmgfs!!! D:

Now that my pre-mature midlife crisis is out on the table, let's see what I've been doing in my free time since I last posted :).

S I R S Y

"Little Band, Big Sound", Sirsy has been me and my best friend's favorite local band for quite some time. Basically they're a two person band, singer/drummer/flutist Melanie Krahmer and Rich Libutti who plays guitar, piano, keyboard bass and anything else they decide to throw in. The way they do it, it founds like there's 4 or 5 people up there instead of just the two. Last time I was home, I was lucky enough to be in town for a show to be pretty close by. My friends and I were in the very front of a surprisingly uncrowded venue, and we wound up talking to Krahmer for quite a length of time after the performance :), so that was pretty awesome. As you can see, I got my shirt signed. These guys are pretty well known in the area, headlining for bands of the like: Maroon 5, Collective Soul, Blues Traveler, Train, Lifehouse.. you get the drift. They're coming back to play another show in December, I can't wait.

One of my college friends, Madiha, turned 18 within the last couple of weeks, so of course we had to treat her to something nice! We went to Moe's for some mexican food, her favorite, and she surprised us by treating US to icecream afterwards. She told us it's a custom in her family to treat people on your birthday. As much as we protested, insisting it was her birthday, we should be buying for HER, she refused and we ended up accepting the icecream :P.

We spent "Halloweekend" downtown as most of the college-goers do. I don't think I need to elaborate too much haha, but we had a good time, and I think I know how to take care of myself pretty well by this point. It was especially good to have a few of my good guy friends "the ol' boys" down for one of the nights :). I felt safer, plus they're just a riot and I always have a blast when they're around. I was a viking lady, Paige a kitty cat, and Madiha a mime! On actual Halloween we decided to take it easy so Paige, Shayla, and I went to the movies to see Paranormal Activity 2...SCARED ME SO BAD. My word. I haven't been frightened like that from a movie in a long time.

HOPE EVERYONE HAD A SPOOKY/AWESOME HALLOWEEN!

I can't wait to come home to this.. our porch overrun with an army of cats(don't these two look conjoined??!) We seriously have too many cats running around. Why you ask? Because people think that if you have a farm, you must need cats, so they feel free to just drop them off and they breed. Good thing my mom has a soft spot for the fuzzballs.

Question: I've noticed a lot of people have blogs that the post area is wider, how do you get it that way? My blog is teensy tiny, I want my posts and pictures to be wider/bigger, does anyone have any advice for that? Or what do you even do for layouts, I just used one of Blogger's templates and 'customized' it. Am I missing out on any better ways to do it? I'm not the most html savvy girl around.

Also, I decided to give NaNoWriMo a go :)!! I think it's an awesome idea, I have my self doubts, but I'm really going to try it. Is anyone else? We can motivate eachother, haha.

:),

Olive

It's been a little while since I've posted, I hit kind of a busy patch in things.

Homework, tests, traveling home, going downtown with friends--it all wears you down. I'm enjoying it though, this busy lifestyle. Atleast most days I'm not sitting around bored. I really do love the fall though. The leaves are gorgeous( the hobby of "leaf peeping" still cracks me up with its name), as I said last time it's perfect for hot chocolatee... and I don't know, it's just a good season. It's a nice transition from the heat and sun of summer to the chilly frost of winter. I'm still sad I haven't gone to the local apple orchard at home for some fresh cider apple doughnuts.. I'll go the next time I have the chance, unless the season is over and done with. Honestly I'm a little excited for winter :). Snowboarding should be amazing this year. I could do without the cold while I'm like, walking to classes or driving in the snow.. but I can't wait for boarding.

Let's see, what fun and excitement have you all been missing out on in my life...? Really it's been a lot of work. I've had several tests, two papers, regular homework.. I haven't had much time for thumb twiddling :P. Last weekend I went home to work a day at Polo and see friends of course. It was great just being able to hang out with the whole crew. College isn't so far away I'm beginning to realize. Next year it'll be nice to have my car though. I hate having to ask my mom to come pick me up, even though it's a nice chance to talk to her. I just feel bad because it's an hour away. I really need to spend more time at home, home. Like with my family. The moment I reach home I generally relax for maybe an hour, then I'm off to see my friends. I can't help it, I love them haha. It just hits me at the end of every visit that I don't see much of my family. This is partially because they're so busy.. like when I'm in the house, they're generally outide working, so it kind of feels pointless for me to be home, alone, doing nothing. I just need to find ways to spend more time with them

The weekend before last I actually attended a football game. At my highschool, we didn't have football, so this was semi-significant I guess. I went with Paige and Madiha, we didn't watch the whole thing because we had things to do, but our team, the Danes, were kicking ass and taking names while we were there haha. We checked for the final score later---48-0. Either the other team was terrible beyond comprehension, or our team is really, really good..

Pumpkin picking in the heart of Albany.. Not really something I would expect. Paige, Madiha and I took a little "adventure" trying to find the place where Madiha needed to get her laptop fixed. It was a lot of unnecessary walking it turns out, but we had a good time anyways :). I took that litle baby back to the dorm, festive right?

In the spirit of fall and Halloween, Amanda and I took the liberty of trying on the sweetest costumes Target had to offer :-). I think Amanda makes a dashing penguin personally. I really do need to come up with and or purchase a costume, ASAP. I'm still debating... Hermoine, Olive Oyl, scarecrow, or something else entirely. Any one with feedback---chime in and help me decide!

Saw this. If I had a kid, he would be wearing this. Best thing I have seen in awhile!

After the fun and excitement of those adventures, then spending all day working Saturday, and the night spent kicking back with friends--- I got up Sunday morning and drove Julie, Ben, and Amanda to Massachusettes for Six Flags New England! It didn't wind up being as far of a drive as I had expected, it was actually pretty easy. Definitely worth it too :). We spent all day going on the craziest, most nauseating roller coasters and rides they had to offer. Even the "babyish" ride we went on, the teacups, was extremely dizzying. I love rides though, and it was definitely a blast.

Just one of the handful of rides we survived.

Now I'm back at "home", college. I'm trying to get back into the routine of things, and actually to be more efficient in my routines. I have a meeting to schedule with my advisor to choose my next classes..I have homework due tomorrow evening, I have news to catch up with, and my dorm is a mess. However, I have class in the morning so all of this will have to wait until some point tomorrow because I decided that I couldn't wait any longer to get this updated :). I feel like it was a wise choice.

One thing has me heated though. In my journalism class today, my professor announced that the school is proposing to cut down the program, making the classes larger and much more difficult to get into. SERIOUSLY? Ever since the major came to the school it's been widely popular, so why get rid of it? I'm baffled. If I can't get the classes I need, I'm out.. Goodbye UAlbs..sorry but I refuse to graduate a year or two behind because I'm waiting to get into the classes essential for my degree. Six years for a Bachelor's was never a part of my plan. Once I do more research on this whole issue, you can bet I'm going to complain my head off.

Hope everything's good with everyone :D

Half full

http://www.freehugscampaign.org/
One morning last week, I can't for the life of me remember if it was a Monday/Wednesday/or a Friday, but it was one of the days I had my philosophy class, and gotten our tests back. I studied forever for that exam and was pretty confident I knew what was up with the Ontological Argument, a priori and a posteriori truths, and of course the conflict of David Humes through Cleanthes, Demea, and Philo :P. Then we actually get our tests back and I failed the utter shit out it. It was just one exam, but I felt like it was foreshadowing to the rest of my college career. So I'm walking out of the building, all sorts of frustrated, and suddenly I run into a guy and a girl with Free Hug tshirts on. I made eye contact with the guy, and he said "Kinda looks like you could use a hug", or someting along those lines, and in spite of my frustrated, bitchy mood, I took it. And actually, it made me feel better. I think it's a great movement. Everyone has bad days and little things can kill your mood, but it's nice to know that there are people out there who reach out and try to brighten some days.

I would write more but honestly it's two o' clock in the morning and I still have loads of work to finish by tomorrow---so I'll have to keep this short. I just thought I would share this little moment with you all, and also prove that I'm still alive, still writing.

Also, you know what feels amazing? Sitting in bed while drinking hot chocolate. I would definitely say that the mug is half full. :)

Wake me up, when September ends (which would be tomorrow)

It's funny, the little things we take forgranted. What is very obviously a stump here was once the biggest tree in my yard at home, right in front of our house. I went home last weekend and its absence definitely wasn't something I overlooked, or even could overlook. It was a staple to our property, my yard looks funny without it. It was the tree I grew up with, the one my dad tied a tireswing to, which I'm not ashamed to admit having used within the last year :). I guess I'm going a little Fern Gully/Avatar here, but I miss that tree. The reason the county took it down was because there was a danger of it falling down and crushing our house, since the inside it becoming hollow. I guess that's a good excuse, but it's just unfortunate that such a pretty, old tree had to go. Ah well, things change.
Speaking of nature, it sounds like a natural disaster movie outside my window at my dorm. It has been a torrential downpour all day long, and now the winds are picking up badly too. And to think I had been waiting all week to go out tonight, ha ha. Nope, this girl is staying right in her dorm room and blogging, then watching Weeds :). Maybe I'll break out the hot cocoa finally. All of my first tests for my classes are out of the way. I think I failed my Nutrition one, atleast I feel like I did. Then Philosophy and Sociology were both good I think, I have those classes down pretty well. Journalism, I'm doing awful in journalism! This is the point where I have to pull myself together and get serious. I can't keep going to a journalism class without knowing what's going on in the world. Now I make sure to pick up a copy of both the New York Times and USA Today in the campus center every morning, and I make a habit to check the online news. Little by little I'm getting there. The more I do, the more interested I become in it all. I want to be one of those people who actually knows what is going on around them.

You know it has been a rough week when the lady making your parfait asks you what kind of granola you'd like and you reply "magic", when you meant to say maple.

Welcome to my life. :)

Currently reading and laughing with.
$4.99 at Borders, how can you go wrong? I have a friend who is attending the "Rally to Restore Sanity" at the end of October, I cannot wait to hear all about that :).

So I was in really high hopes last weekend to have a bunch of pictures from the annual Balloon Festival to share with you guys.. But the morning I forced myself to wake up and go, I got there too late with the traffic, and the balloons didn't actually take off anyways. Wind sucks.
Then that night I stayed out with friends way too late, so I didn't wake up in time to go the day the festival was actually good. I'm disappointed.
I'll get over it. In the future though, I'd really like to ride in a hot air balloon. I just think it has to be a totally weird feeling. It kind of scares me, but I think it would be awesome and undoubtedly worth it. I have to go home again this weekend. I really wish I had known that last weekend when I was making the decision of whether or not to go home, because if I had realized the next weekend would be my Grandpa's birthday, I would've waited, rather than making two trips like this. Coming home so often makes me feel like I look needy and homesick. I'm not.
I'm not really complaining though, I had a good time last weekend. Plus it's really awesome that Chris keeps driving down here for me, giving me rides. I'll remember all of his trips when I'm buying Christmas presents this year, haha :). I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday and this week is coming to an end. Goodbye September, you useless month. I'm ready for October and Halloween.
Anyone give their costume ideas any thought yet?? Right now I'm kind of down to Hermoine Granger, Olive Oyl, a scarecrow, or an old lady.

Greetings from College

It's a new chapter, the next phase in this crazy thing called life.

You will be surprised by how much change a person can filter if they only allow the winds of change to blow freely and stir everything up.

-Little something I came up with.

College.

Yes, I live up in that gigantic building haha, but only on the fourth floor. And that is basically what my side of the room looks like, except you can't see the closet/dresser area and we also have a common room and a bathroom, neither of which really were "photo worthy" in my opinion :P. Our common room is basically a narrow rectangle with six desks. I wish there was room for like a futon or something, but oh well. It's so strange how used to this all I am. Coming from the country, having my own room, no brothers or sisters. Now I'm in the middle of a city setting, sharing space with five other girls, one of them being my roommate. It's proving to be a good experience for me though, I love the independence. I love talking to new people and getting a feel for so many different ways people see the world.

Sometimes I think about how interesting it would be to just throw myself into new situations, just to see what it's like. Imagine going through prison for a week or so, I don't know, that example is a little extreme, but there are a lot of shoes out there and I think it's a good thing if we try on several pairs throughout our lifetime. If we continue to wear the same ones every day, they're bound to wear out fast. I guess all I'm trying to say is that I think it's a good idea to see as much as you can in this life, and from as many angles humanly possible.

As much as I love college it has its drawbacks-- my friends and family from home aren't here. I think we're all doing a pretty decent job of keeping the friendships alive though :). I've had quite a few visits since I've moved in down here and it really makes my day that my friends care enough to come see me, and even bring me back home in a couple of cases. I've got some great people in my corner :) ♥. Just this past weekend I had friends come down to see me.

It makes me really happy to see that this new situation and the distance doesn't make much difference. Sure I'm missing out on things back home, life goes on with or without me. But I am also making my own experiences and carving out a new part of my life down here at college. It's not that it's a whole new story down here, it's only a chapter, and the characters from before haven't vanished, the setting is the only thing that has changed, and of course the addition of new characters.

I also feel like I'm learning a lot, which is probably good since that is in fact what I'm paying to come here and do.. :P. Philosophy and Sociology are both really interesting to me, I actually like the content I'm learning.. Nutrition is okay, it's a little annoying with such a large class(500 students in a lecture hall..) Math is terrible, but I need to get it over and done with, it's the last math class I'll ever need ;). Journalism is a bitch, but it's something I want to master. I'm so bad at keeping up with current events, I've failed every quiz thus far. I hope I read this again some day and laugh at myself. I hope that someday I'm on top of my journalism game. But for now, I am pitiful and inexperienced. I have a lot of room for improvement. I love the class in general though, it's the most intriguing to me. I just need to work on my research habits.

I think I've mentioned this place before, but Bettie's Cakes--- absolutely amazing! There's a local cupcakery a ways from my house, but I actually found their double decker bus, their bakery on wheels, near my college!! It was amazing :). Shayla and I found it and got cotton candy cupcakes, delish.

When there is cupcakes, life is good. Hah, but really life has been good. It has been moving rather quickly though, I can't believe it's really been a month since I've blogged, AGAIN. It makes me want to kick myself in the teeth. I honestly have four drafts just chillen' in my posts.. four attempts at blogging, but I just didn't like them, or didn't finish them. Something lame or pathetic. But now I'm here again, trying this once more. Wish me luck.

I'll be attempting to catch up with everyone within the next couple of days, expect some comments from this stranger :). Miss you all, bunches.

♥ Olive

Still here :)

It's been a week, which is longer than I was hoping to go without posting. But alas, I'm still here. Three out of the 7 days that I have been missing in action, I spent with family of friends, who are technically my friends too, and who feel like family as well. I really love their place on the lake, it's so gorgeous, and peaceful. And they have hammocks [ ^^ :) ]. There's just something great about laying in a hammock. I went out to read in one of their hammock chairs at one point, and wound up having a conversation with the cutest little asian girl in the hammock chair next to me. Nice kids like that, they make me question why I'm so adverse to having children of my own. I just see all of these tyrants running around school, one little kid told my friend Derek that he was ugly, hahaha. Kids can be so mean. Plus our business teacher drills how expensive they are into our brains.. But I guess my major reason for leaving kids out of the picture is that I'd never have a child if I wasn't with someone I loved, and if I wasn't secure. And right now, neither of those are panning out, so kids are out of sight, out of mind. But sometimes, sometimes I think it wouldn't be such a bad thing.. If everything went right, when I'm older.. but I don't know. I'll cross that road when it's time. Or maybe children are just terrible and I'll never want to have them. Who knows. For now it isn't even logical to think about them.

But anyways, my time at their place was fun :). Swimming, jet skiing, fires on the beach, talking. I love how simple things can be.. We played games like Bachee Ball, Settlers of Catan(the actual BOARD game :D), rode around in a jeep. I always feel like I walk away from there, or any trip with the right people, with something new. A new insight, a new idea.. that's what I love about getting away and changing my scenery. This time I walked away with drawing a connection to something that never really clicked with me before, and because of it, I can see things a little differently. It makes me sad, but it shows me what could happen if I don't watch myself. If I don't face the facts, if I don't keep prodding myself along. This makes no sense to any of you I'm sure, but I just had some light shed onto my situation, and it's something I needed to realize.

This post isn't anything stellar, just a little update to show that I'm still kicking and breathing.. But coming soon will be a better post because in roughly five hours I'll be making my way to New York City!! :). Man, I'm going to be tired.

♥ Olive

Revitalized

Life inside the olive jar has been revived.. :)
It has been awhile since I last left off with you all.. A few pages have turned, a new chapter has begun. I just want you all to know how sorry I feel for neglecting this for so long, it was never bcause I wanted to.. I have had the worst time management ever since senioritis kicked in during highschool.. :P. I just get too caught up in living in the moment to take a step back and reflect. For awhile that's a good way to live, but to me, self reflection is very important, and when you don't allow yourself the time to do that, you don't really learn or grow. At least not as much as you could. Life has just been moving so fast. It's insane, it really is. Just one month remains until I leave for college.. Where did the time go? I'm realizing that I haven't been taking much time for myself lately.. I just run from one fun thing to another, down for anything ;). It's a fun way to live, but again, I'm the kind of person who likes to live a life with balance.. When your friends are your life, and socializing is your fuel, you know something is off-kilter in your balance. I love being around people, it's just the way I am, I'm not about to try to change that. But I do need to take the time to relax and take care of myself, and most of all, think and reflect.

I can't believe I graduated. I GRADUATED guys, I'll never take a class in highschool again. I think that's an enormous part of why I've been so social lately.. I'm afraid of what the next year to come will bring. Many of the people I'm close with are staying back at the community college for a year or two. On the other hand, I'm going away. Distance is inevitibly going to grow between some of us.. Ever since I realized that, I've been trying to soak it all up while I still can, make those bonds, have those memories to look back on. I want people to really get to know me before I leave.
What I really want to do is to get to know myself on a deeper level than I already do. Up until recently I haven't even been writing for myself.. I used to keep up with a journal, I used to blog regularly, but then it all slipped from me. I'm supposedly a writer, how does a "writer" quit writing? An unexpected someone inspired me to get back into writing in a notebook, I'm really thankful for that.. Another reason I feel like I've taken so long is the pile-up of events.. I'm the kind of person who likes to get most every detail, and after all of the writing opportunities I've missed, I know I'll have to skimp on detail, which it very hard for me. I'm pissed at myself for neglecting to write so much, and I'm doubly pissed at all of the posts I have missed from you guys.. That's what really gets me, I find it difficult to just read the latest post without going through and reading what I missed up until then.. but at this point, reading and commenting on everyone's life
moments that I have missed out on would be a little insane. So I suppose I'm going to start from scratch, sort of. I definitely understand if I have lost some readers, if not all of you :P.. But I really appreciate everyone who reads this or has read my ramblings in the past, I love getting your feedback and support.. And I miss you all, I really do.
A very much condensed re-cap.

I turned eighteen. I have legally crossed into the "adult world". I have yet to really use my new age for anything cool.. But point is that I am ;D. My wonderful friends yet again made sure I had an amazing, memorable birthday..:) I love them all so much. They gave me a picnic with PANERAS(and chocolate covered strawberries) in the park, we walked around this artsy festival, followed by a delicious dinner back at Tom and Julie's. Above are two of the greatest presents I've ever received :). Shayla ordered me my own personal JONES SODA, of my favorite flavor, green apple :D. It was such a thoughtful, cool idea. I think I'll keep the bottles forever. Then over on the right is a really awesome painting Amanda did of me in Disney :)!! She's such an amazing artist.. I can't wait to hang it up in my dorm :D. Seeing it makes me really wish we were all back in Disneyworld.

Das German ;)
This summer has been slightly different, a new member was added to our group :). Amanda's cousin Helene came over from Germany for 3 months. It has definitely had an effect on our summer, in a good way. We all want to show her a good time, so there's rarely a night where we sit around and do nothing. We try to find something, at least, to do every day. Of course we knew how to have fun before Helene came, but I feel like now we have more fun, more often, and I will really miss her when she departs back for Germany in two weeks.. :'(. She's become a really good friend to me, and I hope we all can go to Berlin to get a taste of Germany with her next summer.



I feel like I've kind of been forced to grow up lately. Not only with age or graduating, but I've gone through some shit that I won't go into detail with on here.. But I'll just say it wasn't anything I was wanting or expecting to happen. When you don't keep watch of the fire, sometimes you get burned.. And it doesn't always happen the way you expect. People are human. Humans make mistakes. I don't know, it all really hurt me, but I made myself take a step back and think about how I wanted to react before I did.. thought about the value of the relationships before I severed them by overreacting, or saying things I might regret later, doing things I might regret later. It's all been hard, but I think I handled it well.. and hopefully it will make me a stronger, less naive person in the future.



As I said before, I've been pretty focused on having fun this summer. Pool parties, boat rides, drive ins, a roller derby, and trips to the cupcakery cafe are only a few of our memories.. :)

Sometimes you have to just let go.

Of all inhibitions. All uncertainty and fear.
Sometimes you have to say that thought lingering in the back of your mind. Sometimes you have to listen to that impulse. Sometimes you have to reach your hand out a little further, and sometimes, you have to pull it away when you realize it's not wanted. Sometimes you have to let your mind go blank so you can jump off of a 30ft high cliff without a second, or fourth thought. Sometimes you have to take off without asking when you want to see the ocean. Sometimes you have to just live.



I don't belong here, I've got to move on here, escape from this afterlife
Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you, and surely I'll miss you..
This place full of peace and light, and I'd hope you might
Take me back inside, when the time is right.
[Avenged Sevenfold - Afterlife]


A couple of weeks ago I got to go to my college for Orientation :). That was pretty interesting.. I met some nice people, so I'll know some faces around campus, although there will be many of them.. It's so weird to think I'll be going to such a huge school. Everyone I talked to found it so hard to believe that I graduated with a class of 35. It'll be a change.. I'm ready for it though. I need it. The lectures got boring pretty fast, meeting people was fun, the games were okay. The food sucked one day but was good the next? Dorm rooms are shitty, but that's to be expected. I'll like it better with my stuff in it :). I hate the idea of sharing a bathroom with a hall of other girls. I really liked the fountain, and how you can play in it. I'm excited to be on my own. I'm sad about leaving my friends. I'm nervous about my future. Oh man, this is growing up.

Thanks again for keeping up with me, I appreciate it so much.. I hope you're all doing well. If there's anything I missed that you want to catch me up with, feel free to tell me! I'd love to hear from you all :).
Yours truly, ♥
Olive

The Unimaginable.

You never consider the thought, it just seems so alien. You don't picture something like this happening here, to the people you know =/.

Monday morning tradgedy struck in my hometown. It was a weird morning from the start, I was running late(as usual), making the mad dash from the parking lot to the school, trying to get to homeroom in time to make it on our field trip. Since Amanda and I always sit together on the bus, talking amongst ourselves, we kind of missed out on the surrounding conversations, especially since we sat in the very front. Once we reached the college we were doing our business day at, we caught up with another classmate telling us how she "couldn't believe what happened", and of course we were clueless.. "You didn't know, Ben was found dead this morning.., he killed himself.." It hit me like a ton of bricks.

Always a grade below me, I never had much interaction with him, but we knew eachother, and I have a few fond memories of him that I'll always hold close. He was a polite, respectable boy, who always seemed to be smiling. I would have never expected this to happen to him. He must have held a lot inside :/. He gave so much to the community, more than I ever knew of after hearing the memorial service this evening, that really opened my eyes to who he was. He was a funny kid, anyone who talked to him could vouch for that. Big plans too.. he was determined to go into the army, a very patriotic boy.. Recently he was even accepted into a highly selective citizenship program. The more I think of him, the more I wish I had gotten the time, the chance to talk with him more. Our paths just did not cross at the right moments.
This has had such an impact on us, our school. Everyone is upset even if we're all showing it in different ways. Mostly everyone went down to the conference room at some point to sign the cards, sit with other students to talk, to cry, to find comfort. Many of us wrote letters to him. We all wonder the same question.. why?, but we'll never get an answer. I think there is a lot to his story that we don't know, and never will.
I think it's causing us to reflect, to realize that we're fragile and we cannot take anything forgranted. People are telling eachother that they love them, people are putting themselves out there. We know now that we aren't invincible and neither are the ones we care about. It's just so unbelievable.. we'll never see him in the hallways again, he'll never tell another joke, he'll never reach his dream of being in the army. And it's the saddest thing I've known in a long time.
You'll be in our hearts and minds forever. You will be greatly missed.. :(

Rest In Peace Benjamin ♥

I'm back :)

A lazy day was just what I needed :).

I honestly can't believe how long it's been since I've blogged :(, it's so sad. A note for anyone younger than me; Senior Year FLIES like you would not believe.. I graduate in a little over a month. Where did the time go?! School has been a major comsumer of my time and energy, but then what time I do have for myself, I use it to go, go, go, trying to squeeze in all of the moments I can with the people here, who I'm going to be missing next year. That added with the fact that I have poor time management skills = terrible blogging :/. But I am trying to make a turn around, so let's see where that takes us. Thank you to everyone who reads this, I reallyreally appreciate it, and I'm sorry it's been so inconsistent.

My Life in a Nutshell;

1. Senior Trip to Disney

2. Final Decision on College

3. Working/School

4. Quality Time with Friends :)

Ahh, the senior trip.. I miss Florida so much. It was absolutely gorgeous while we were down there. Warm, but not scorching. I believe it only rained once, and it was brief. I really like the whole airport/airplane scene. I bet I could be a decent flight attendent ;), maaybe. It probably wouldn't be as great as I'm imagining, but it's something I'd consider giving a try, just to do it. Once we arrived in Orlando all of the girls went into the restroom and switched into their shorts--- it was so WARM, a huge temperature difference from upstate NY. Our hotel was one of those 'All Star Resorts", with our theme being music. Our hotels were like, jukebox themed and the pool was shaped like a guitar. Our artroom group, which I'm sure I've mentioned before(Amanda; pictured above with me, Derek, Zack, and myself), stayed together for the majority of the trip. We were probably the most productive group I'd have to say.. While everyone else laid out by the pool we put all of our stuff away and headed out for our first park, Animal Kingdom. It was really cool there, I liked the jungle atmosphere and the animals seemed to be taken good care of. The Yeti was friggen awesome too :)! Fun ride to keep in mind for those of you who haven't been and are planning to one day. I won't go though a daily play-by-play, but we did hit up every park while we were there, and although you can't see everything Disney has to offer within less than like---two weeks probably :P, I still felt as if we saw alot, and not much of our time was wasted. I loved Epcot with all of their countries and futuristic feel. MGM was pretty awesome, we saw quite a few shows there and went on interesting rides. The Fantasmic show and dinner was spectacular. Oh, funny thing happened there-- this little boy got sick in the middle of the 'road', we were on a platform above, and we watched people continuously walking RIGHT through it, then watched their disgusted reaction a few feet later when they realized what just happened! Oh my god, it was gross but I couldn't help but laugh at the poor souls :P. It really brought our class together too, we'd watch someone approach it "Oh,oh,oh,OOHHHHHH" ;P. We were too far to really warn anyone, so we just took the opportunity to find some cheap, uncivil humor hahah. The trip was definitely a success. No real drama, atleast none that I knew much about. I did get to spend time with mostly everyone that went, but I remained with our little quadrant for most of the time ;). There's much more to it than I'm going to ramble about, but it was a great time, and I'd love to go back. I highly reccomend going on your senior trip if you're able to/don't have alternative plans that are really worth it.

UAlbany, it is :).

I finally received my acceptance letters, although Purchase sent theirs only a few days prior to the deposit deadline.. and I decided on going to Albany. It's closer to home, I know a couple of students that go there, it's a little bit cheaper. I think it will be a nice place for me to start off and get used to the college experience. It's HUGE too.. I'm used to a school with 600 kids, kindergarten-12th grade.. It's going to be a drastic change, also being in a "city" setting. I'm excited to embrace the change though :). I'm hoping to be blogging all about the college life next year ;D. It's really happening--I've applied for my housing, got my financial aid information back(although I'm going to try to cut it down a bit more..) and I am ready to go.

Work and school, there's probably no need for me to elaborate much on those. I'm realizing that I've come quite a ways from when I first started working at Polo. I kind of noticed this as I was helping a few of the newbies ;P. I still wouldn't say I'm a retail expert by any means, but it's kind of neat to think that I've learned so much. It has transformed my style a bit too, I can't lie. One of the reasons I wanted to work at Polo was because I never shopped there, hahaha. I didn't want to go spending my paycheck right back into my company. I still don't buy from there alot, but I think it's made me take into consideration what I want to be wearing like, in my twenties. The oxfords I've gotten from Ralph Lauren--I'm sure I'll be wearing them in adulthood. They have the quality to hold up over time as well as being classics. Don't get me wrong, I still like dressing a little crazy:), but it's nice to know I have some pieces that'll last me.

Then there's quality time with friends :).

This would probably be my favorite.

We have been keeping ourselves pretty busy what with birthday celebrations, icecream trips, beginning a new movie, going to the drive ins, ectect.

Also, today was Mother's Day. Well I actually began this blog entry yesterday, so it might show up as yesterday's date-- but nevertheness. I waited for my mom to finally go to bed, which was midnight, hahaha, and I then started to clean the house. It was quite a daunting task. I also bought a few things for the kitchen/bathroom and set those up for her to find in the morning. This all kept me up past 4am, but I feel it was worth it :), she was happily surprised.

It's getting late now, it's approaching midnight and I should probably allow myself some sleep. I spent most of tonight doing some online shopping-- Zumiez is having a sale on their boards, and I kind of want to jump on that before I miss the boat and have to spend a fortune come winter. I think I'll get some advice from Tom before I buy though-- snow stuff is a big investment. Also... thinking towards graduation gifts, what have you guys heard about the Kindle or the Nook? Any thoughts on those? I was thinking an e-reader would be nice in college, especially having my textbooks on there. I love physically owning books, I wouldn't quit buying the real deal-- but having one of these could be useful.

Again, I've missed you all so much! Please tell me how youall have been :).Sorry if this isn't a great post, I'm a little rusty ;P.

PS. My best friend Shayla blogs :D, I highly reccomend you check her outtt.

I'll be catching myself up on everyone's blogs this week, so expect some comments ;D!

♥ Olive

And we'll all float on anyway,

Hellooo,
So it's officially spring guys, how exciting is that?! You know what that means--- summer will be here in no time :). Only three months until I graduate and move on from this place to wherever the road ahead leads me. I have been accepted to University at Albany, still waiting on Purchase. It's less than two weeks now until my trip to Disney, I'm pretty excited. I like it when days just sneak up on you, atleast when you have something you're impatiently waiting for.

This nice weather has lured me outside lately, taking walks with Candy and wandering around in the woods. I have decided that I'm going to spend alot of time outside this summer. I envision many days out on the lake and nights around the bonfire. As the days dwindle down though, I can't help but question if I'm making the right choices. The cashier at Hannaford last night was talking to my mom, and my mom of course got on the topic of college hahah. That's what every parent of a senior in highschool has on their mind. Anyways, the lady asked me where I was going and what I was majoring in. I told her journalism, and her response kind of surprised me. "Oh, really? You're into that stuff?" It didn't offend me or anything, but it kind of flipped a switch in me. Am I really into that "stuff"? How do I know this is my niche? Sure, I enjoy writing. I'm that asshole in english that always gets her papers back with a 100 circled at the top. Sure, I love expressing myself through words on Blogger. What I'm questioning though, is if this is enough to mean that I could be a journalist. Our school doesn't offer classes in it, we barely do journal writing
related assignments. How am I supposed to know without the exposure? I guess that's the problem-- you don't. It's all a matter of taking the plunge and ignoring the risks. I guess the biggest issue with me now is I'm discovering new interests. I have actually thought of owning my own small business lately, what with the maple candy success and all. Doing something like that seems rewarding. Being responsible for the success of whatever you're making, putting hard work into it, and personally receiving the benefits. I'm thinking somewhere along the lines of a bookstore, a maple sugarhouse, a little cafe, or some crazy combination of the bunch. It'd be pretty cool to sell natural foods and products too. Who knows, these are just ideas that have been brewing in this little head of mine. I guess I'm getting a little nervous that I'm going to head off to college with this big idea that journalism is my "thing", when I really don't know nearly enough about it. Maybe my passion for writing and sharing my opinion with the world will be enough, hahah :). I don't know. Whatever I do though, I don't want to be permanently trapped in an office.. I could see myself working for a magazine like National Geographic and actually going out and experiencing new things, writing about them. I just know I need my space, my fresh air.

Walking around, exploring in the woods is my cup of tea (:

My boys-- Eeyore(right) and Vinnie(left).

Let's see, what have I even been up to lately..
Hmm.. last Friday was a half day, after my eye doctor's appointment I met up with three of my best guy friends to eat lunch at Panera's :). It was a nice, sunny day too, so we all sat outside to eat. I could really go for one of their strawberry smoothies right now.. like really, haha. I spent the rest of that day taking pictures such as the ones posted above, wandering around in my woods. I love having so much land here. I worked all day Saturday until five, then went over to Derek's house to hang out with the guys. Fire outside, jamming inside, good times with good friends. That pretty much sums it up. Sunday and Monday were both boring, I won't even discuss them. Tuesday I took the day off from school :P. Well, until 10th period. I had about six physics lab reports due by the end of the day and I needed the extra time to work on them, so that was my purpose in staying home. It worked out pretty well. I came back in time for photography and study hall, hahaha. After school I drove a few friends out to Ben & Jerry's to take advantage of Free Cone Day :).
Mmmm... cake batter.
After we got our free icecream we decided to walk around the town, checking things out. We found some cool little places; my favorite being Bettie's Cakes :). We stumbled onto this hidden treasure by complete accident. We were in this little mall of shops, looking at the Egyptian and Peruvian stores, and as we wandered further I saw a sign for a cupcakery cafe and simply couldn't resist. It was such a cute place, completely 50's themed. Bettie's Cakes.

That's my cookie dough cupcake, and Tom's pesky little fingers trying to get a piece :P. It was delicious, and very filling. I'm glad we found that place, it's a great little business. I wish there were more places like that around. Apparently they also have a double decker cupcake bus :), how cool is that?! The bottom of it is used to make the cupcakes and take the orders while the top part is an actual cafe. Things like this make me consider having my own business even more so.

I hope everyone is doing well, catch me up to speed :)!

♥ Olive

Happy St. Patrick's Day :]
I would have to admit that my favorite part about this holiday is going to Stewarts with my green tshirt and getting icecream :). It used to be FREE icecream with the green clothing, but now it's $.50. Ehh, still not bad, it was worth the five minute drive for some birthday cake deliciousness. I miss those elementary days of leprachaun hunting and rainbow chasing. We had this teacher, who happened to be red-headed and a little out there, who would dress as a leprachaun every year, and we would set these "traps" the day before to try to catch him. It was a pretty big deal haha, looking for him all day, disappointed when we saw our traps disassembled and empty :P. Then there was good old rainbow chasing with my grandma, searching for that pot of gold. She obviously knew we wouldn't find anything, but I think she just drove me around so we could spend the time together, and before long I would get wrapped up in talking with her and forget we were looking for anything in the first place. Oh, and whatever happened to the search for the four leaf clover? I miss childhood.

So my maple business has been a success lately :). The candies have been selling well, a lot more people are into maple than I realized, which is cool. The weather has been awful for sugaring though, we need the cold to make the sap run. I however, enjoy this surprisingly warm weather. I just wish it didn't affect our syrup. Spring break is just around the corner, 21 days! Did I tell you guys what I'm doing for it? Well, if I didn't, our class is going to DisneyWorld for our senior trip. I'm so ready for the warmth and the fun.

Hope everyone is doing well,
♥ Olive

Hmmm,

So this is me, writing with nothing head spinningly interesting to convey. But the days are slipping by and the last thing I want is for another month to pass without me catching up with you all, so here it goes.. please don't expect anything life altering or well written haha :).
These days my backwoods, rural roots are starting to pull me in. Growing up I have sort of opposed them, as most difficult little children do, always wanting to repel from what they've been taught. Now it's all beginning to draw me in. I guess what I'm really into is a simple life, you know? Doing something you love and allowing it to bring you its own rewards. I'm really beginning to value hard work. I cannot really picture myself as a farmer such as my dad, but I could see myself operating something like a nice little maple business, or a small bookstore/cafe combo. The more I question it, the more certain I am that I will end up in the country. I may spend a portion of my early 20's living the city life, going out on the town :), but I think I need to settle where it's a little calmer. I want my space, my open skies. I want to take a walk in the woods and not come out on a highway. I wouldn't mind living near a lake either, but not a major tourist destination. Just a beautiful place I can spend the day exploring around with my dogs and watching people jump. I could picture myself having a beautiful horse too. I plan on having a lot of land :). What I cannot imagine is spending my life in an office all day every day. I could swing it while I'm young, I would gladly work for a magazine. I would just rather have a job in it that allowed me to travel and see what I have been asked to write about as well. That is the kind of journalism I'm drawn to. Something I can experience first hand and get the raw details on. I guess at this point I'm just speculating on what I want from my future.

And how are you? :)

'Cause the candy man can :).

Makes the world taste good.

Sunday was a productive maple day for me :). One of my teachers along with her friend and her mom came over to make maple candies for a special occasion. How it works, basically, is you cook a gallon of pure maple syrup(in case you aren't aware we make/sell our own, which is why this is taking place at my grandmother's house) until it reaches the appropriate degree for candy making. My grandma has a nifty temperature that has a scale for what range goes with different consistencies of syrup, such as cream, hard candy, ect.

This is "the pig", named for it's striking resemblence, haha. It's the container the syrup cooks in. Once it's reached the point, we transfer "the pig" over to the table and secure it to the candy machine. Once it has cooled to the appropriate temperature we turn on the machine and open the little pig snout to allow syrup to drizzle into the tray below.

As you can probably guess it is stirred by the coil, and a valve on the end can be opened and closed to let the candy flow into the molds below. Precision is key; this step can get real messy, real fast.

.......And GRANDMA!! Hahah ;D!!

Once you have run out of syrup, this is your end result :).

There will actually be ALOT more than this, trays and trays full. This is what they look like though. The portrait molds belong to my teacher. We generally just make the traditional maple leaf candies although I've considered investing in some new supplies when I take it over this year :). I find the whole process to be pretty enjoyable.

So tell me, how are you guys?