Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Disappearing Act

On the very last minute of this Tuesday evening, I'm making a comeback. I will not guarentee for how long, because sadly, I always wind up disappearing after a few posts. I hate that I do this, but it always seems to happen. I refuse to just give up and delete this blog though. It's like that brown, dying houseplant that nobody has the heart to quit watering. I'm just going to keep watering it when I remember, let it sit in the sun, and hopefully one day it will turn a lush green again.

I'm really excited to catch up with everyone though, it's going to be a challenge, but hey, I'll embrace it. Things have just gotten so busy with my college life, as they did in my highschool life, and I see that it's really not a good excuse. I need to drill the concept of "time management" into my head. It's getting there.. I'm atleast doing well with balancing a social life and an academic life---but now I need to learn to incorporate my introverted/"me time" life into the mix..including working out. Tonight was the first time I really exercised in WEEKS, just like with blogging.. Lately I've been going home a lot. Friends have been offering me rides left and right, plus it's MAPLE SEASON!!!!!, so I've been making maple candies and cream from our own maple syrup. We're actually having a great season, which we desperately needed after last year... Last year we only made around 36 gallons of maple syrup, and this year, not even finished with the season, we've made 100 gallons. I think it could be a good idea to get some sort of website started up for it.. like, that stuff sells.. and honestly we don't charge nearly as much as most maple producers do for the same quantities and grades of syrup. So.. when I decide I have a bunch of time on my hands.. maybe I'll make a website, haha. I know I just wrote a big post last time, forever ago, about my uncertainty about my future, and lo and behold, I've gone and made it more complicated. Now I'm seriously considering going on the Psychology track. I know I sound really inconsistent. I can admit that I'm not really at all sure what I would like to spend the rest of my life doing.. But I know this, atleast. I do not want to be a reporter. It isn't me. These journalism classes I've taken so far, all news related, which should be a big DUH, but it really isn't my thing. I had an interest in doing magazines, but that wasn't really the direction my classes have been going in. Next semester I'm planning on taking a Magazine Writing course to affirm my decision.. but I took a Psych 101 class, and I think there might be something for me there.. I have always had an interest in helping people, actually I make it a priority a lot of the time.. I thought about Psychology before, but I had the idea in my head that it would be too hard, it's a "science," and I never could retain scientific information in highschool. But this class has proven to be different. I'm pretty interested, and I'm getting phenomonal(please excuse the bragging) grades in it. That's one thing I've been trying to do this semester, step up my grades. First semester I was just gliding along, doing average, on the verge of poorly. I passed everything, but not with flying colors. Now I'm realizing that even though I'm at a big university, I can still excell if I actually put forth effort. And.. if I'm paying for it, it's definitely worth the effort. I'm learning that this isn't 13th grade. But back to psych. I'm not 100% sure what I'd definitely do with it, whether I'd go all the way and get a Ph.D and open a private practice, or maybe I'd find a concentration and go into something like School Psychology. It's just another option though, I probably won't really have a solid idea of what I want to do until next year when I take more courses in it. I'm definitely more interested in the counseling side of it than the research/experimental concentration. But then again, maybe I'm really a writer. Or maybe I'm none of these future identities I try to claim. It's all just trial and error, this college thing. Oh, and I'm kind of over the last two colleges I was talking about. I still think I want to transfer after next year, but my desired location/school has changed. It's all about Champlain College in Burlington now.

I just want to take a moment here to say Rest In Peace to Sean Laflash. Last week my town lost a really great kid, much too early. He was such a polite, sweet, and respectable person. He spent his entire life in boy scouts, and was recently awarded his Eagle Scout status.. Sean had a passion for photography, and he worked hard all summer for his DSL camera.. He lived up the road from me.. I would drive by his house and wave at him nearly every day. He was a senior this year, only a grade below me. He knew how to make people laugh. He had good friends. He died doing something he loved, skiing.. He was a great kid, and it is truly a tragedy that his life was cut so short. He could have done a lot of good things.

I really want to encourage anyone who skis or snowboards, or does any sort of high action sport/activity, to please be safe, and wear a helmet. It can't always save you, but it is worth the investment in case it can. I always wear mine. Freak accidents shouldn't discourage anyone from going out and exploring their passions, but just use a little precaution. Watch your speed, wear a helmet, be aware of your surroundings..

On that note I think I will end this. In exactly a month, May 5, Cinco de Mayo, I will take my two final exams and officially be done with my first year of college ;)! That's part of the reason I made a point to post today, aside from it being waaaay past due.. I really don't want my last month of freshman year to be forgotten. I haven't even written in my journal in ages. I can't let it continue to go this way. I lose out on a lot of self reflection that way, and I espeically lose out when I don't blog, because I don't get the feedback I love from all of you. You are all really, truly dear to me. I'm sorry that I go off the radar so often, and I can't express how much it means when some of you continue to keep up with me despite my lack of good, frequent posts.

6 comments:

Natalie said...

YAY OLIVE! <3 I love reading whatever you have to write, whether it's once a day or once every six months. (Though once a day would be pretty awesome :D) Time management is an extremely difficult task. I really just wish they'd add in a few more hours to the day. There needs to be more time between six o'clock and midnight. It's nearly impossible to balance school, a social life, and time for yourself... But really, just write whenever you can find time. :) I think making some delicious maple syrup is one thing that can take precedent over blogging, haha! If you sold it I would totally buy it.

It really sounds like you have a lot on your mind regarding the future. Psychology is a really interesting field, though unfortunately I've never been able to fit my school's Psych 101 class into my schedule. But yeah, maybe there's some way to mesh writing and psychology into one! Argh, I can definitely relate to the frustrations of indecision, so I'll be looking forward to hear about where that goes!

That's so sad about the boy who died skiing. :/ Those kinds of sports are so fun that you forget how dangerous they can really be. It must be so tough for his family and friends.

That's so exciting that you're almost done with your FIRST year of college! :D I swear, I always say that time goes so fast, but it really does...

Em [The Writer] said...

First off Rest in Peace Sean! It's so awful when people of his sincerity pass but as my friend once said, 'those people come down to earth to affect us and touch us in a very special way.'

And about blogging I totally get what you mean! You have to remember though that there should be a balance between living and blogging. Blog when you can and don't feel bad because if you focus too much on blogging you might miss something even bigger going on around you!

P.S. Totally jealous about the syrup!

Have a splenid week :)

Allison said...

Haha I know how you feel about the whole dying plant thing. Blogging is nice and I hope you never give it up. Good to see that your life is getting up to full swing. Having things to do is a blessing a curse but embrace it. Sorry for the lost friend. That is indeed sad. Keep up the good work and I hope you get a much needed vacation from homework and school soon.

<3 Ally

Nicole Linette said...

Hi Olive!

I was really surprised and excited to see your comment. College is taxing, and I appreciate whenever you're around. I'm so stoked that classes and new potential study tracts are falling into place! That is what college is about, and I'm enjoying the trial and error business too, scary as it may be. Sorry I missed your last post about transferring, but I've looked into Champlain before and they have a wonderful communications program. So in terms of journalism, I say GO FOR IT! It's your education, your money-- make the most of it :)

My last day of classes is the sixth, then the week after is finals. Can you even fathom how quickly this has all gone by? It's too much fun; I can't leave yet :P

I'm really sorry about your friend :( And I agree, that everyone should take heed and make safety their priority. Life is too fragile.

I hope you can enjoy spring, school and your friends. Ah, and the syrup!! Good luck with the business! I hope we can talk again soon :)

cheers,
nicole.

Helennn Louise said...

Olive, if you ever delete your blog I'm going to hunt you down and kill you :P I don't care if it's a day, a week, a month or even a year between your posts! I always love reading what you have to say!

Wow... as always school sounds hectic for your poor wee soul! I do hope you're enjoying it though because it's all part of the experience :D

And sorry for your town's loss. It's saddening how many young lives are being lost. Since September my high school has lost four children and two of them were my brother's best friends :/ Sure makes you second guess your own immortality!

Well I wish you luck on your exams and hope you're studying like crazy!

I hope you're well <3

April said...

Hi, I'm April:) Not sure if i've already said this, but I'm em the writer's friend:)
I love anything maple! so yummy! 100 gallons?! that's crazy.
i'm hoping to take physch classes sometime in the future. I so hope you find what you want to do:)