The consonants and vowels, the consequence of sounds.

"The world's got a nosebleed" it said,
"And we're flooding, but we keep on cutting the trees and the forests!"
And we keep on paying those freaks on TV, who claim they can save us
but want to enslave us. And sweating like demons they scream through
out speakers, but we leave the sound on 'cause silence is harder.
And no one's the killer and no one's the martyr.
The world that has made us can no longer contain us.
- Consequence of Sounds, Regina Spektor

I enjoy her style. She's not afraid to experiment in her songs which is why I find them so interesting. I'm agnostic, so when an artist makes a christian song that I can't help but sing along to, there must be some talent somewhere. I like that she writes her songs too, especially when they bring up important issues. Or if they're just cute. Doesn't Hannah kind of resemble her? Tell me if I'm crazy, haha.

This weekend has been busy, of course. Julie and I organized a play-date with our dogs Saturday. Both of them are adults, but neither of us have another dog in the household so we figured it might be nice for them to get together and see if they get along. For the most part they did. I brought Candy over there, she was a bit shy though.. They were both a little sketchy, sniffing eachother out and then backing away, easing closer, sniffing again. It was a process. I think they liked eachother by the end of it, we're going to get them together again :).

Candy, left. Shadow, right.
Then Saturday night a bunch of us met at a friends house to get chinese food and hang out. There was like.. nine of us, haha. It was a good time. We played with nerf guns downstairs, the guys jammed, we sat around talking; it was nice. I know I'll keep in touch with atleast half of them after highschool.

goodbye february.

Thoughts for March: more, more more!
- More posting. I think my issue is that I put off posting if I don't have alot to talk about. I'm afraid of boring people. However, that only leads to me never posting, and I hate it. I guess I'd rather write frequent posts varying in quality than always long, jam-packed ones a couple of times a month; that's lame. So here's to more posting!
- More SLEEP. All last week I was hitting the pillow around 1:00. Stupid. It's 11:00 already, but I'm making myself turn the lights out at 11:30. If I don't finish my math homework---who cares.
- More MAPLE! I'm totally taking it over this year, starting with scrubbing the sap buckets.
- Obtain a passport :).. I want to do some traveling this summer/the years to come. This summer would probably only be Canada or Mexico, but still.
Also, I need to finish financial aid junk this month. FAFSA, scholarships, everything.


All I need to do is get through March, then Spring Break is right around the corner :).
I hope everyone is doing well!

Oversized flannel and the smell of ocean water.

I impatiently await the springtime. Cold, windy weather is bothersome. I want a soft breeze and to leave my house without a jacket. I'm sick of brown, ugly grass.

SPRING BREAK CANNOT COME SOON ENOUGH.

I kind of want this bathing suit from dEliA's. I need to go and actually try it on, but it looks like my style. In case I haven't informed you all already, our class is going to Disneyworld for our senior trip, so swim attire is a must.

Let's see, school has been relatively uneventful--- surprise, surprise :P.
The most intersting thing to me lately, is what we talk about in Government. This is because a lot of the things that we debate and discuss are questions that I mull over in my own head. Such as, "Do you think our country is more free today, or was it more free back in the late 1700's after our Founding Father's set the stage?" What do you think?

Snowboarding Tuesday was nice. It was my third time boarding, and my first time while it was actually snowing. It was cool, eerily beautiful riding the chairlift throw the snow, hearing nothing but the squeak of each empty chair going past, rocking with the wind on the other side. And of course the occasional conversation with Tom. I'm surprised he wanted to go with me, I figured I would "slow him down", since it's my first year and all. I did accomplish that, hahah, but not as badly as I was imagining. I'm definitely improving.. I have decided it's something I want to stay with, and invest some money into proper equipment for next year, as well as a Season Pass to whatever mountain I happen to be close to in college. It leaves you so sore though, I'm still feeling the effects today. It's good for me, I need something to keep me "feeling the burn", hahah. Especially with my diet lately of chicken quesadillas or pasta for dinner every night. I make my own food, so it's up to me to find the motivation to cook and experiment.. after a long day at school and afters chores, that doesn't come easy. I will try to work on this..
Lately all I've wanted to to is get my hands dirty. I want to go over to the garage and work on something. Nevermind that I don't know how, I want to teach myself and learn. I'm disgusted with how I just sit on Facebook for what feels like minutes, and is really HOURS. It's like, "Oh hey, there went my life.." Blogging is different to me, it holds greater substance. But regardless, I need to get myself out of the house. I do feel accomplished when I do things physically, too. Farm chores will definitely take a toll on you, but it's a healthy toll. Maple Sugaring should prove interesting and tedious. Right now I'm in the stage of washing buckets.. I'll let you know how it progresses.

I went shopping tonight :). After cashing 3 checks I've allowed to accumulate, I didn't feel too guilty treating myself to a couple new things.

Short sleeved Sweater, yellow overcoat, owl necklace, all Forever 21.

boys flannel shirt, PacSun. Perfect for when I go boarding or tapping trees.

The storm has passed.

These past few weeks have been rough and choppy. Scratch that, this past month.

I really do apologize for being gone for so long, I truly despise having to neglect Blogger. It was nearing the end of the second semester though, I was falling behind and as I was saying in the last post, I had way too much on my plate. Since then I have alleviated most of that :). I caught myself up in Physics, gave up my part in Charlie Brown(I'm still helping with the production, but this way I miss rehearsals), dropped Mock Trial Club, and finished my college essay. The bad news: I failed my Math B regents. As did the rest of my class, all 8 of us. You know, New York State can really tick me off. Us and California, we're the only ones who require these tests, and they end up hurting us. Failing this exam means I am automatically out of the Top 10. Even if I re-take it in June and pass with flying colors, my time is up. I have lost my requirement. I am screwed. So yes, thank you NYS, thanks a million. I think my favorite part about the whole thing was my grade, a 64. I wish my teacher would have thrown on a clown suit and some makeup and delivered the news on a unicycle, because a 64 on a regents is nothing short of a joke.

That whole situation left me sort of pessimistic for awhile, that along with the weight of homework, working, and trying to maintain a social life have left me scrambling for time :P. I think I have everything under control at this point though, I am doing a bit of internal re-prioritizing.
Since I blogged last I have . . .

- Flown out to Iowa to see my grandfather(I will elaborate on this)

- Been on February Break and enjoyed it greatly.

-Participated in "Senior Skip Day" :)

- Jammed out in Derek's basement.

- Went bowling.

- Snowboarded twice, I enjoy it. (:

- Decided I might want to learn to play the banjo.

- Had a run-in with the police, but was able to go because I didn't do anything wrong.

- Played Mario Party for Nintendo 64 for the first time with the guys and hurt my hand from getting too into it :P.

- Attended a Lord of the Rings marathon.

- Decided lowfat strawberry smoothies from Panera are a win.

- Contemplated the meaning of life, or atleast what I want from my life.

In the aeroplane over the sea,

Okay, so we didn't fly over the sea. We flew to Minneapolis and switched flights out to Nebraska, from which we drove to Iowa. Still, I love flying in planes, I don't think I would mind being a flight attendant. Take off is my favorite, just feeling the kick of the wheels rising up towards the belly of the plane, no longer being held down the the world. Everything looks so small, it really puts things into perspective. When you're on the ground, everything is so big, you feel like your neighborhood could be the whole world. Another place that puts things into perspective for me is Iowa. Everything just rolls along at a slower pace out there when compared to New York. I'm not even talking the city, just regular upstate NY. The roads are gravel, the houses might as well have their own zipcodes, it's a very spacious, simple place. The sense of community is quite strong though; my grandpa goes to breakfast and lunch every day with the same people. They're all around the same age, older, and they always hassle eachother :). I'm glad to know there are people out there who would notice if he didn't show up for breakfast one morning, friends around to care for him. When I visit I am always reminded of how much I miss my grandma. The older I get, the more apparent it is to me that we were alike in many ways, and would have gotten along so well at this point in time. We always went well together, but as a child you don't see things as in depth as you do with age. It's hard because almost everyone I visit when we travel out there tells me how much they miss her, how they just wish they could pick up the phone and call her like they used to. It's amazing how one lady made such an impact on so many people, I hope to turn out to be something like her. My grandpa is an amazing person himself. He does so well for himself with being on his own, 87 years old, taking care of his own house. He still messes around out in the barn working on tractors(he used to be a big-time collector), and he has put alot on the table as far as my college fund goes. I wish I could spend more time out there hearing his stories and joking back and forth.

February Break has been quite excellent. We started it off with a bang, Senior Skip Day. Of course our whole class would/could not participate, but a good amount of us crammed into a tiny diner in town to eat a cheap breakfast. Somehow mine ended up not being so cheap, but whatever hahah. We took up nearly the entire restaurant. Afterwards we all met at one of our classmate's house and rode trucks and wheelers down to the frozen pond. It's a large pond, mind you, more like a small lake dimension-wise. So we hung out there, drove around doing donuts and drifting hahaha, ate hotdogs, iceskated, played loud music; it was a good country time.
I'm starting to find it saddening that I may not see some of these people after highschool. Later that evening I went to the local ski mountain and hung out with my best friend Amanda, pictured above, and watched her boyfriend play a gig. It was pretty fun, we stayed for fireworks too.

I have decided to quit thinking in terms of plans, but instead allow myself to think theoretically. Forget Plan A, Plan B, there are only 26 letters in the alphabet, give me numberless possibilities. Theories give explanation and a bit of structure while plans just demand too much. Quoted from 'What Sarah Said', "And it came to me then, that every plan, is a tiny prayer to Father Time." It's so true. We can plan, plan, plan, maticulously, but if the timing is not in our favor, it won't even matter. I like the looseness of theories. They give you something to ponder and strive for, without consuming your entire being.
I miss summer. The world just looks so dead. Winter, you'll find your coat neatly hung in the closet, please find your way to the door and leave. The only good thing I got out of you this year was the snowboarding experience. Luckily I was able to borrow almost all of my equipment from friends, all I bought was a $50 jacket, but that was on sale and I needed a new coat anyways. Mountain passes are only $17 on Mondays and Tuesdays, so I only go if it's one of those days, and I have a friend who's a beginner as well to keep me company :). It's a cool feeling, just cruising down the mountain. I definitely could use some improvement, I do a lot of "plowing" it's called, when you go down with your board kind of perpendicular to the mountain, because it's the easiest way. I'm making progress, slowly but surely. I'm antsy for summer though. I keep thinking about what if we went on a roadtrip, how nice it would feel to jump in a lake, the peace of mind knowing I am done with highschool and ready for the next chapter of my life. I'll be eighteen years old, wow. I'm so ready.
I want to apologize again for the lack of blogging.. I feel pretty ashamed that it's been this long.. I guess I wanted to make a really good post if I was going to make everyone wait so long, but then I decided today to just go with it, write what I could. I can pretty confidently say that I'm back for good :). Frequent posts are what I'm aiming for, and I definitely need to play a little catch up on everyone elses' blogs. More time alone is definitely needed. Almost every night of vacation I would find someone to pass the time with, then come home and pass right out. While that's usually fun, I need my time to think, my time for myself. Today was one of those days :). I actually woke up sick, stuffed up, hot, fatigued. So I called in sick to work and spent the whole day in my room. I finished most of my take home test I had neglected all week, did a little cleaning, watched The Sixth Sense for the first time, finished up some college things, watched Flight of the Conchords on dvd :):), "I'm the hiphopapotamus, my lyrics are bottomless ;D." Plus I finally got around to posting this. Oh, I watched a show on 9/11 conspiracy theories and one on taboo death rituals. Apparently there's a exhibit in Germany where they take real dead bodies and transform them into art. They undergo a special process to eliminate the fats, liquids, skin, ect, and pose them doing lifelike things. It's strange, but sort of cool at the same time.


How has everyone been?!? Please, do tell. =)