Saturday, January 22, 2011

Just Chill

First of all, tell me that isn't amazing! Amanda made those for best friend necklaces, it's her, Julie, and me if you couldn't tell :)! My best friend has talent, and I'm going to brag for her because she's much too polite to do it herself. They came down to my college to go shopping and visit me today, it was totally unexpected and totally made my day.

This weekend has been rather uncharacteristic of most college weekends. I don't know if it's because I'm over the inital excitement of the college scene, if it's the frigid, miserable weather, or if I'm just changing my interests, but I had about zero desire to go out partying this weekend. It's not like it was my main focus last semester either, but if I was down here, I usually went out atleast one night out of the weekend. It's kind of worked out that my friends here are broke, and now my roommate's getting sick, so there hasn't been much pressure to go, and that's kind of relieving. One of my really good friends here wanted me to come out, and part of me wanted to so I could be with her, but everything else about it is unappealing. The cold. Waiting for the buses/taxi cabs. The money spending. Did I mention the cold? Last night Paige and I sat in our room on our separate beds watching Everybody Loves Raymond. I felt like a 50 year old married couple, and I enjoyed it. It feels nice to be able to just relax, just chill for once. Normally I feel like I'm running around doing fifty-million things, making plans, going places, but now I have the luxury of just being, and I like it. I do love exploring the town though, and going out can be loads of fun, but I'm going to choose my nights wisely. The last thing I want is to feel overwhelmed. This semester is about me getting my shit together. I want to come out of it having a greater understanding of myself and what I want to do with my life. I want to know how to manage my time, and learn to accept the idea of missing out on things. That has always been a problem for me, I want to be a part of everything that's going on with my friends, or sounds appealing. In the words of Aerosmith "I don't wanna miss a thing." That's been one of the hardest things about going away for school, seeing the photos and hearing the stories that I wasn't there for firsthand. It's an important thing to go through though---you can't always be there for everything, and when you aren't, you have to learn to be happy for people's happiness in your absence. I do love it when you get surprises though, it was so nice to roll out of bed around 11:00 and receive a text from Amanda asking if I was free today :). I wasn't expecting to see any of my friends from home until next weekend, which I hope to come home for.
It just feels good to have everything under control. I have time to do my course assignments, there's oatmeal in the room so I no longer have to starve after the dining hall closes since I'm basically nocturnal...I hopefully will be getting a job, if I apply for TAP I should be getting money back so going to college won't cost both my arm and my leg. I'm still uncertain about what I want to do college-wise after this semester.. if I want to continue here, or possibly transfer, it's all up in the air. I like this school, but I don't know that it's specific enough for me. In theory, what I'd like is to determine the path I want to go down, and then be in a place where it caters to that field. Going into college I just picked journalism, thinking my love for writing and my interest with publications, especially National Geographic, was enough. News was never my thing and neither was broadcast, and that seems to be the majority of the exposure to journalism here---and since that isn't the part I wanted to be a part of, it makes it difficult to figure out if it's the right field for me. I'm still glad to be getting the foundation in it, and there's a lot of things I'm learning that will help me, but I still wish I was getting a better idea of what it would be like to do things beyond that---like photojournalism or working with magazines.. I feel like it's going to take me forever to get to that point here, if I ever do.. There's another part of me that's curious about where my life might lead if I took the psychology path. I've always had an interest in that, and I genuinely like being able to help people with their problems. But everyone wants to be a psychologist these days. I don't know, I don't know. I'll probably take a path with writing, but nothing is for certain, and there are a lot of things I need to hash out in my mind with reason. I just want to wind up doing something I love.
This was a thoroughly boring post aside from Amanda's artwork, I always wind up using Blogger or whatever medium I'm writing in as a place to vent. I'd like to make it be something more than that, something more interesting than that. I want to have better things to share with people.


Natalie said...

Whoooaaa, the necklaces are completely incredible! Let's just say that I'm pretty sure you have the best friends ever. That really is amazing. :D

I totally get where you're coming from with the whole 'staying in' thing. After all the hustle and bustle of all the millions of things to do during the week, by the time the weekend comes along I'm so tired that the last thing I want to do is go out partying or whatever. By that point I just want to drink hot chocolate, catch up on TV shows, and relax.

And yeah, I have learned not to worry about missing things, too. Before I used to be so upset any time I couldn't do something with my friends and I had to see all the pictures and hear about it later and everything. But I guess I've learned that I actually don't care as much as I thought, haha. ;P

That is frustrating that they don't have photojournalism or working with magazines available, since that's what you're most interested in! I mean, working for National Geographic would be pretty much a fantastic dream job. I guess it's good to keep your options open with the psychology too. But like you said, what's most important is that in the end you're doing what you love. :) Good luck!

Ali said...

Yeah, those necklaces are EPIC! :D

Dude, I totally understand how you feel. Just chillin. Chillin can be good. most of the time, it is. and i understand the whole "i don't want to miss anything." i feel like that a lot. but yeah, you can't be there for everything. you have to miss out on some stuff. but, you also do need to learn how to be happy for other people who experienced it. i'm having a hard time doing that, actually. i'm missing out on a lot because i'm not in public school, so it sucks. but i guess it's just how it is.

anyways, good luck on the job again! :)

and you're gonna see Circa Survive?! jealous! my sister saw them and she said Anthony is crazy on stage! and that he has a potty mouth. haha :) have fun olive!

love ya!

Jocelyn said...

I have the exact same problem! I like freak out if I can't do something or miss out on something worthwhile or exciting. This semester for me is all about studying. It is going to be a rough semester and just like you, I am trying to figure out how to manage my time and still have a social life!

I hope that you get everything squared away. Those nights when I can just veg out in front of the tv like an old lady are seriously some of my favorite nights. We all need to rest our brain sometimes, especially after hours and studying and working! Good luck!

Sorry I have been a horrible blog friend lately. I will try and do better.

Em [the writer] said...

That is quite the necklace! I so relate to staying in on the weekend, the week is way to stressful to even think about doing something on the days you can actually rest!

The idea of sitting in bed with a friend watching Everyone Loves Raymond is great! Just hearing about it makes me relaxed.

Haha hope the hustle and bustle of monday won't get you down tomorrow. Cool blog by the way :)

Allison said...

Holy shit, those necklaces are absolutely AMAZING! Your friends are awesome, girl.

Okay, so we are so similar. My freshman year, I went crazy - I was partying constantly, up almost every night til all hours, and just didn't care as much about schoolwork (not saying that you don't!). By sophomore year though, since my parents threatened to yank me from college (since they paid for it) unless I pulled up my grades, I worked my ass off.

To me, the key to it all is moderation. College is about finding that balance, which is in no way easy, especially when you have friends that you either live with, or can just pop in. A few words of advice that I have are - make sure that you set aside time to have fun with your friends, but do it around your schoolwork. I know it sounds lame, but if you tell yourself that you're going to work for two hours on this project, and then go out with friends for an hour, it just gives you motivation to get it done. It's kind of like having your cake and eating it too - you get done the stuff you NEED to get done, but you also don't abandon your social life in the process. Because I fully believe that a healthy social life is an integral part of the college experience :)

As for partying - that's another thing that is best done in moderation (from my experience, I'm not telling you how to live your life!). Especially after we were all 21, my friends wanted to go to the bar at LEAST 4x a week. Now, when I was student teaching, I had like, $0 to do that, and needed a ton of sleep to be able to function. Since I'm a people pleaser, it was actually really good for me to learn how to say no - because your friends might be pissed you don't go out one night, but they'll get over it. I think learning how to say "no" to people, is another thing that I learned in school that I'm definitely carrying over - it seems so trivial, but it's one of those things you HAVE to do, because there is no possible way to please everyone all the time, you know?

And seriously - some of my most favorite nights, or the things I miss the most about school was being in my room with my roommate, while we each laid in our beds, and watched TV and made comments about what we were watching. It's those little things that you're going to miss so much when you're home for the summer, or when you graduate, so treasure those memories :) (I sound like a grandmother).

Phew - sorry for this ridiculous comment. I feel like I'm living vicariously through you because I miss college so freaking much!
I hope you have a gorgeous week - stay warm, girl! xox

Helennn Louise said...

Oh that necklace is gorgeous! Your friend has an extraordinary talent and it's a good thing she has you there to boast for her!

Staying in is the best thing ever, I know you're probably shocked to hear that from me but I love a good night in watching movies. It's mesmerising.

And hey, don't worry about your blog being a place to vent. It's not as if I ever have anything to say apart from my bitchiness. I'm a true fan of your blog simply because of how down to earth you are!

Olive, my love, I hope you have a marvelous weekend!