Sick, Sick, Sick.
Don't Resist.
You guessed it, I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Actually, it's only my stomach. But this morning and throughout the day was the most gut-wrenching pain I've had in awhile. It literally felt like someone with biceps like Chuck Norris decided it would be cool to suckerpunch me in the gut. Needless to say, I'm not at school. Once I vomited my reesees puffs, that was it. I can tolerate it if I'm sitting still, as I am now, but I don't think I could've handled school. Camping out in the bathroom sitting on a stack of folded bath towels isn't accepted there, so I felt much more comfortable in the privacy of my own home. I might get wise and use this time to work on my chemistry write-ups. Our last match for Answers Please was last night. We didn't go down in glory, in fact a nice way to put it was--we were massacred. Creamed. Brutalized. "P'owned." It wasn't pretty. We shook it off though, it was a fun season with an interesting group of people sharing some interesting memories :). Afterwards we went out to eat at Panera's, and the manager was thoughtful enough to give us a consolation gift--- a platter of those brownie/pie slices! Basically it's a frosted, delicious brownie, cut up much like a pizza or a pie. We were quite pleased.


Bukowski.
Well we sat on the edge of the river, the crowd screamed "Sacrifice the liver!"
If God takes life, he's an Indian giver. So tell me now why you'll tell me never.
Who would wanna be? Who would wanna be such a control freak? Well who
would wanna be? Who would wanna be such a control freak?

Well see what you wanna see. You should see it all.Well take what you want from me.
You deserve it all. Nine times out of ten, our hearts just get dissolved.Well I want a better
place or just a better way to fall.But one time out of ten, everything is perfect for us all.
Well I want a better place or just a better way to fall.

Here we go!
If God controls the land and disease, and keeps a watchful eye on me, if he's really so damn mighty,
well my problem is that I can't see, well who'd wanna be? Who'd wanna be such a control freak?
Well who would wanna be? Who would wanna be such a control freak?

Evil home stereo, what good songs do you know?Evil me, oh yeah I know, what good curves can you throw?
Well all that icing and all that cake, I can't make it to your wedding, but I'm sure I'm gonna be at your wake.
You were talk, talk, talk, talkin' in circles that day, when you get to the point make sure that I'm still awake, Okay?

-Bukowski - Modest Mouse

I'm going to get a little controversial here.. So if you're a religion fanatic, not interested, or whatever, just stop reading. Or don't comment on it. I don't mind an intelligent argument, but I don't want to feel like I've greatly offended anyone for what they believe, so this is the disclaimer my friend. :)

Religion just seems like such a problematic thing to me. So many of our wars throughout history were simply based on controversies over beliefs. I'll say one good thing about religion, it gives hope. Having faith in something or someone to take care of you would be a pleasant feeling, a good support system. I just can't bring myself to believe. I spent alot of my Sundays as a child going to church, believing what I was told. But once I grew old enough to actually form my own opinions, it stopped making sense to me, in the same manner we deal with Santa Clause. It's nice in theory but lacks the facts to back it up. I know, I know. The whole point of having faith is not needing these facts. But I don't have faith in a god. I have faith in myself. I have faith in my friends, my family. I don't see why some being, "God", would put us on this earth with the sole purpose of worshipping him. As the song I quoted said, "Who would want to be such a control freak?" It just seems incredibly egotistical to me, to want lower beings just to praise you. I feel like so many people are devoted to a religion in self interest, their fear of the afterlife. People are scared of what happens next. I don't pretend to know what'll happen. Maybe we simply rot in the earth, or maybe there is a God. Or maybe, some crazy process goes on that scientists haven't even begun to examine. Regardless, I'm not going to waste my life preparing for the latter. I'll live it now, the way I want. Just because I'm not a child of god doesn't mean I'm not a decent person. Religion and kindness do not always tie in. I've seen plenty of "good christians" who are judgemental, rude, and downright mean when they want to be. Religion gives them the capability to do wrong, and then "ask forgiveness", and the doors are back open again. Morality shouldn't go hand in hand with a fear of torture. People get motivated in hopes of reaching "heaven", and avoiding "hell". I perceive this as self-interest, sorry. I do appreciate people, including religious ones, who do things for the good of humanity. I've just experienced people who feel 'nonbelievers' as people to avoid. How can you base your association, or lack of, with someone on their beliefs?! I don't understand. Does their difference make them insuperior? Even though I'm agnostic, I'll still associate with people who have beliefs, because that's all it is to me. A belief, an opinion. Something everyone is entitled to grasp. I just dislike how it has such a prominent space in society, and always has. None of us know what happens when our hearts stop beating, our lungs quit expanding. It's a mystery. I don't see how anyone can pretend to be so certain of what will become of us.