It's crunch time right now, the last full week before exams and regents. Everything is stressing me out, especially receiving the topics that we need to know for our Chemistry final :/, I'm afraid I might just fail it, hardcore, along with the regents. Atleast I can take comfort from looking at a calandar and knowing that in approximately 2.5 weeks, this will all be over. I will be on summer vacation :).
It's just human nature.
I have come to the conclusion that we are taught most of the things that we fear. As I was trudging along a highway picking up litter for Honor Society, I wandered onto a grassy patch on a fork in the road, and winded up jumping back nearly three feet, along with a pathetic, girly scream. The cause; a simple grass snake. If you asked me about snakes I would not say I hated them, they were disgusting, or anything of the sort. But when one takes me by surprise I react with sheer terror. I believe the reasoning behind this originated when I was a little girl. I spent most days next door with my Grandmother. In the winter we built snowmen and went sledding, in the fall she brought me trick or treating to her friends houses, and in the spring we would plant flowers and make tunnels for my toy dogs in my big, turtle-shaped sandbox. In the summer we played crochet, swam in my three feet high pool, and kept our eyes wide open for snakes. Whenever she would see one, she would be frightened and want them gone as soon as possible. Therefore, I never cared much for them. Something about the swiftness by which they moved just startled me too much, and I never really got myself accustomed to their presence.
This is pretty unimportant in my situation, but it sparked my train of thought. If I was so easily influenced to fear a harmless grass snake, how simple is it for someone to convince another to fear or hate another human being, or a group of human beings. People, especially as children, are so delicate and simple to persuade. Our traits rub off on eachother, leaving a pleasant or foul scent remaining, depending upon the nature of how we were influenced. Sometimes, people can bring out the absolute best in us. If our parents are supportive in us and the choices we choose to make, that can make a wonderful difference in our lives. Or if we mingle with others who try to crush our morals and pressure us into doing things we normally would never consider, we can make a change on the negative end. Discrimination can also infest itself in this way. When people are raised to think of another race, ethnicity, gender, or orientation to be insuperior, it is very possible that the person will grow up clinging to those unfortunate beliefs because it is what he or she knows. We are taught what to love, what to fear. Along with age and maturity, we have the opportunity to take what we have been told and taught, and apply it to who we want to be. Ultimately, the choice is ours. I think a goal of mine this summer will be to lose my fear of snakes.
life update, i suppose. :)
This weekend was basically a blur to me. I spent Saturday and Sunday working, on my feet all day, but it'll be worth it when I receive my paycheck. I actually really do enjoy my job. I like having a supervisor that appreciates my desire to read when things are going slow, and everything in the store is tidy :). Of course I don't see there nose-in-book when it's obvious tasks could be done.. But it's cool being able to pick up a nice read when I have everything taken care of.
Sunday after work I did the whole roadside cleanup that I talked about. It felt good to do good. People who litter make me slightly mad. I'm sorry, but exactly how difficult is it to keep wrappers or paper cups in your vehicle until you get to your next destination. Wherever you are headed more than likely has a trashcan. Why is it so necessary to throw your stupid, non-biodegradable JUNK out of your car window?! I just don't get how come people are so lazy. I felt pretty cool though, wearing the bright neon yellow vest and hardhat though, hahaha. So badass. After that was done and over with, I drove myself to Julie's to get ready for a concert.
I decided to go because she had an extra ticket since her sister couldn't go, and I also didn't feel like it would be right to let one of my best friends go off to a concert venue with a bar, all by herself. That just isn't what friends do. There was a backyard show at Steve's house featuring local bands, along with his band Zero Climax, which I posted about before. I wanted to see it badly, but I decided to go with Julie. I was glad that I did though, we had a great time. Honestly, all but two of the bands basically sucked, haha. This one, Crashing Funerals, wasn't too bad. They were screamo, but they atleast made things fun by placing remixes and interacting with the crowd. Then Walls of Jericho just surprised the hell out of me when their lead singer, a girl who doesn't appear to be butch-like, screamed with the same tone as the men. It was strangely awesome, haha. Julie and I mainly mocked and laughed at all of the crazies around us. There were some pretty out of control characters there, I'll tell you what. Atleast a group of our guyfriends showed up there, so we had some people to associate with.
The worst band was this group of heavy, hairy men who screamed a whole lot. The only song I remember was introduced as "This goes out to all the freaking EMOS out there.." Then the song started and all I could make out was the singer saying "SISSY PANTS SISSY PANTS BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH" It was ridiculous, but made me laugh out of stupidity. Another one of their songs was called "I F***ed Your Mom. Charming, eh? We winded up leaving the concert early, but we did manage to get alot of good laughs out of the whole thing. We also chose our Yearbook cover after school today, it's pretty cool. I was appointed Editor in Cheif, too :D, woohoo!
A bit of bad news is the recent release of two of my cats from the house :/. For nearly two consecutive weeks one of the kitties was leaving messes on our living room chairs, even after we began to cover them in plastic. The occasional mess has never been a real issue, but when it became so frequent, my mom understandably got upset. First she let our youngest, most wild cat go, thinking it may be his doing. He's currently out making friends with the farm cats that hang around on our porch, and we leave food out for them. He seems to be adapting with ease. However, after we let him out, a mess appeared all over again, and when I picked up the only cat in the room at the time, my fat little Toby, his tummy was wet. Yuck :/, I was not amused. But it became obvious that it was him causing all of these problems, so my parents let him go outside while I was at school. Unfortunately, we haven't seen him since :/. I wish I could have seen him before we let him out, because now I don't feel like I'll ever see him again. The whole thing is sad, especially since Toby's been a house cat for so long, but I mean, it's understandable. We can't clean up messes every single day, and there wasn't any other real option besides euthanisia, and that would have been awful, too. I'll keep you guys informed if he returns from his adventures, but I' am kind of doubting that he will.
Okay, let's move on from being so depressing..haha.
Spin out of control.
Has anyone else noticed that people appear to de-evolutionize in the presence of hardcore music? Julie and I were just standing against the bar, watching these people hunch over, throwing punches and spinning around. Suddenly the video image of a nature flick with gorillas interacting in a jungle popped into my mind and I could hear monkey screams in the background. After that moment, the resemblence was too striking for me to get over :P. People in mosh pits just release all of their reservations and go wild, like beasts. I swear most of them have no idea where they headed when they start spinning around. I always jump back a few feet whenever I see someone "in the zone" of moshing. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for getting lost in music and being inspired. I just can't see how people allow themselves to become so animalistic about it, especially to the point where you seriously injure someone and don't care, or even notice. I just think people should be aware of their surroundings while they're letting themselves go. So I'm not against moshing or anything, just against people becoming animals. Like this big, jacked guy punched my friend's little brother in the ear at a previous concert. This kid was like, twelve, compared to this grown man. I was so disgusted by that. And it would also help to not hunch over and make yourself look like a primate, because I am going to laugh at you. :)
OHMYGOD, The Wallflowers are coming in July! I'm excited to see them :D. I love 'One Headlight' and 'Josephine' by them.
It's getting late, and I really don't have much more to say. Sorry for
the lack of pictures, but my computer was going too slow and was
trying my patience way too much. So eh, just boring type this time.
I should be getting up to date with comments on everyone's blog soon,