Thursday, July 3, 2008

let's do the panic tonight

I feel like I'm finally started to realize who I am. I've felt like that for awhile, but I just feel like announcing it now :P. When you're little, you spend so much time observing everyone else, and trying desperately to fit in, but then you reach a point where you know who you are and what you like, regardless of anyone elses' opinions, and you're satisfied; I'm there.

Actually, I'm starting to feel a bit old, in a good way though. I successfully passed my permit test-- stay off the sidewalks :P, so I get to do quite a bit of driving now. Just earlier today I made my way down to Wilton for a bit of shopping & such. When you have memorized your social security number, then you know you're beginning to grow up. It's weird, because it's what you've always wanted, but then there's that little part of you that's craving to hold onto the innocence and craziness of being a kid. Suddenly people no longer find you irresistibly cute when you prance around acting like the biggest goofball this side of Wisconsin. It's the weight of responsibility and the end of acceptance that usually leads people to just throw away the magic and gear themselves up for the real world. I will not succumb to it :). I think if you don't grasp onto your silliness and youth, it'll lose you--forever, and that's a long time. I'm so lucky to have the friends that I do :). We do the craziest little things, and it's wonderful. Our band, The Fat Betches, is so much fun to do. We have these little jam sessions up in Julie's attic where we just let loose and act insane, and record it on camera. I'll admit we have little to no real musical talent, but it's a blast and I love it. I think Amanda and Julie are probably the realest friends I've ever had. I have some other good ones, like Shayla :) or Shalille O' Neil as I like to call her, but Amanda and Julie have been the longest and most constant out of everyone. Plus just like the way we interact, it's pretty obvious we're going to be friends with eachother for life. Amanda's so creative, like she always draws me these amazing pictures to decorate my wall with; I swear my room is like an 'Ode to Amanda', haha, and Julie-- that girl is funny. She does the best Teri the illiterite plant impersonation. Life without those women would be terribily boring.

The other member of my love tripod is the boyfriend, Tom :). I've just always known there was something about us, even though it took him a few years to feel the same, haha, we still continually inched our way closer, and now we've been together for six months. If you think about it, that's half of a year. Crazy stuff, crazy stuff. We know how to keep it fun too :). With Tom, you never know what to expect, and that's what makes him so fun. I've learned to accept that my weenus(the skin on your elbow) is his favorite thing to chew on, and we're constantly teasing eachother. He has turned me into the "snuggle monster" and I love to steal his warmth. You have not experienced a true piggyback ride until you have one from him :P, up and down flights of stairs, over tables, I must admit, I am quite in love.

Alright, I'll move onto the things I want to accomplish with my life. I'm not really sure why I'm spilling so much information at once, but I guess as long as I'm in this writing mood, I might as well take advantage of it, right? Riiighttt. Lately I've gotten this big idea in my head that I want to become an author. Honestly, I know it'll be no easy task, especially since I don't spend my free time writing little stories, but I think it would be a nice life to live. Being able to work at home, writing on my little laptop, transferring the creativity from my head into a story, it just seems so cool. In case I'm not the next J.K. Rowling, I've been toying with the possibility of owning my own book store/bakery too. I'd want it to be a place with social opportunity too, though. Like encourage people to sit down and read there, maybe have a pretty garden/park setup out back. Panera's would probably be my model for what I'd want in a bakery, because I absolutely love that place :):) yum. As far as the bookstore goes, I'd kind of want to create a new experience. It could be more of a center for creativity than a store. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself here.

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