Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Thinking Back

Today has significance, but not in a pleasant way.
I'm not sure how I remember this date when I struggle with family birthdays, but today's the day my Grandma passed away, in 2001. I couldn't tell you what day she was born, but I certainly remember this date distinctly.
The phone call at one o' clock in the morning, so unusual. Who calls at that hour, and what could they possibly want? Questions of a nine year old. Always so curious, so intruding. I snuck around trying to catch a glimpse of my mother on the phone, and once she hung up, she looked the worst I've ever seen her. I remember asking her what was wrong, but she said something along the lines of, "Not now..", but I think I finally got it out of her, she told me someone very close had died. For some reason I thought of this old aunt I had, Marge or something, because the thought of my Grandma, who I loved deeply, not being around anymore, that was just impossible. Nine year olds aren't programmed to think the worst, and I miss that about childhood. So once she told me who it was, I cried myself to sleep and sulked for the rest of the week. We had to fly out to Iowa, where she lived along with my Grandpa, who is still alive and kicking, for the funeral. I just remember it being such a sad experience, so many old people apologizing to us, and looking lost themselves because my Grandma was the kind of person that everyone loved. I really wish the whole situation never happened, the sunstroke, the wake(first dead body I've ever seen :/ ), the funeral, seeing my mother and Grandpa cry, crying myself. It was just horrible. But it is one of those inevidable things that you just can't squeeze your way out of, death happens. So it's always in your best interest to love the life you're living, make a positive impact, and hold no regrets. And when people you love have to go, reminisce in the memories, understand what they tried to teach you, and hold them in your heart forever.

So that was my little dedication of the night, because thoughts of her have been coming at me lately, and I felt like writing them out. I'll shed some positive light on this post now; It's really felt like forever since I've seen Shayla or Jenna, who are both really good friends of mine :), and tomorrow I'm going mini-golfing with the two of them, plus Amanda. I really hate the way we've drifted, so it'll be really good to catch up and have some fun :D. Plus eating icecream is never a bad thing, mmm. Saturday will be Tom and mine's 7months :). I don't know why, but I'm all excited for it, I just feel like it'll be a really good day. Hopefully my feelings don't disprove me.

Question: Is the Dark Knight really all it's cracked up to be? I'm thinking about seeing it, but I wanna hear some opinions :P,.


Rose Valentine said...

Oh I am so sorry! Death does take an effect on everyone. My eighth grade math teacher passed away this past March and I went to his memorial service. It was so very sad and I kept pinching myself to stop the tears from coming. Oh and I haven't seen the Dark Knight. Alot of people are crazy about it. I'm thinking about seeing it too.

Thanks for visiting! Please come again. :)

Skippy said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Death is the biggest thing we go threw. I find it's never easy, but as long as you have loving people around you, it helps ease the process. Not necessarily make it go away, just make it slightly more tolerable.

-great post!

Nicole Linette said...

Aww I'm sorry. Both of my grandparents passed away within 7 months of eachother in 07-08, pretty stressful :{

On the flip side, mini-golf kicks ass and that's wonderful about you and your boyfriend! So jealous.

Thanks for your comment, hahaha I can't believe someone actually read some of my Warped Tour Adventures! We had to drive over an hour to get there, but it was definitely worth it. You must live in central upstate NY or something 'cause Warped Tour Darien Lake covers Western NY and then Warped goes to Uniondale (in NYC).. that blows. :(

Do you ever go to concerts?

xoxo. nicole

Nicole Linette said...


I forgot.

I ♥ your screen name;
same exact concept as mine!
:D (nicoleslaw says/olive says)

Nicole Linette said...

WOW. I suck.

Okay, I'm going to let you know oneee more thing..

I haven't seen the Dark Knight but two of my best friends did and they said even though it was kidna dark and twisted, it was fantastic. And Heath Ledger should win an Oscar.

THAT'S IT! I promise =]

Wandering Child said...

I'm sorry about you loss. I remember when my grandfather died I was an emotional wreck for about a year. But the Dark Knight IS all it's cracked up to be, it is totally AWESOME! Heath Ledger gave me the chills. And I finished my short story so be sure to check it out, although I did not use your title.

SarahRenee(: said...

Oh my goshh!
that is SOO sad.
i feel for you.
you know but atleast you were younger and not really able to program it.but then again it probly hit you ten time harder since you hadnt even considered her. i am so sorry. death is a terrible thing but i guess. anyways i love your blog. its real. anyways. visit my blog and speak ur peace.