Thursday, May 28, 2009
It's so frustrating to sit in front of the computer and not have the slightest idea of what to talk about :. All I seem to ramble on about is my day to day life, I wish I had something of more value to contribute. I want to talk about the things that matter, I want to transfer the ideas and revelations inside my head into written form, but it never seems to happen. Nowadays, it's like we don't even have time to think, to just be. We have to excell,excell,excell. I am an active member of the overachiever's club, all of my marks are above 90 and I participate in just about every extracirricular, minus sports. I am worn down and squeezed of my ambition like an orange at the Tropicana factory.
Summer cannot come soon enough. Time needs to warp itself to a slower pace, to allow me to savor it. I want to just be able to live, to do the things that make me happy on my own accord. I don't want to answer to obligations or deadlines. I want to lay in the sun and soak up its radiance, I want music to invade my ears and convince my bones to rock and sway without my mind's consent. My exilim camera will give my eyes a rest and do the seeing for them. I will talk about life around a campfire with good, geniune people, squishing smores between graham crackers. I will quit being afraid of failure, and write a short story. If it sucks, oh well. There's enough paper in the world for me to make a second attempt, and a third, a fourth, and so on. However, there isn't a second life, not that I am aware of. It's incredibly important that we make the most out of it. Lives shouldn't be measured in dollars. It's the little things that matter most. The hugs you never want to be released from, the brushstrokes to the canvas, the words written on paper and inscribed in the mind, the elements that make up who you are, whoever that may be.
Bleh, I'm not 100% sure that was conveyed in the way it exists in my mind, but I atleast tried to make a halfway meaningful post for once. I hope they improve with time :P.
I chose the picture because for one, it reminds me of summer and the carefree bliss I wish I could have throughout all the seasons, and for two, it's of Shayla and me, and she has come home from college for the summer :)! So just a little tidbit of an update from my life, I've been spending some time with her lately. I would write more, but it's 11:04 and I could use some sleep. Plus I need to read a little in my book before it must be returned to the library.